I don't go to funerals, weddings, baby showers, et cetera.

That sounds nice.

I want my funeral to be semi-cheerful. I wish I could say that people aren't going to be allowed to cry, but I've been planning it for quite some time.

Thats cheerful to think about.

I don't want one at all.

I want a normal bowel clenching funeral attended by my family and every one else I ever looked at. Then I want a ceremony attended by all my friends gathered around a giant plate of peyote buttons as a reminder that someone's brain ceasing to function is pretty freaking cool.

Well mine would technically be a memorial service seeing as they really don't do funerals for those who choose to be cremated. But I'm also an organ and tissue donor, so when I die, my body will continue to help those who need it, and afterwards there won't be very much of me left.

I've always wanted to be mummified like the ancient Egyptians did. My organs stay with me.

I want to be mummified!

Too bad.

I'm make it happen.

Well hello, make it happen.

I will. Would you like to be mummified too?

You will what?

I would like a funeral. I don't mind if it's sombre, people are usually sad when someone they know and love is never coming back.

I'm hoping to die when I'm old and rich-- I want my ashes to be scattered on every continent, and I'm going to assign pairs of people from my life who don't know each other to go do it. Hopefully I'll have a weird great nephew I've never met or something, and I can send him and his buddies to Antarctica with the promise of an "inheritance". They will be paired up with the great granddaughter of one of my lovers, who has no idea who I am or that I was involved with her grandfather. I'll send my middle aged neighbor to Africa with my drug dealer. This all sounds so excellent.

That sounds pretty awesome K. I don't know how long I'd like to live. I want to be able to see changes in the world, but at the same time, I don't know that the changes would really be huge impacting ones.

Most days, I have trouble imagining being alive past twenty-six.

Yeah, last night Chris made the comment that my metabolism was going to crash when I hit 50 and I laughed. I told her I don't plan on living that long. I'm unsure of how serious I really was.

Right? It still seems so bizarre that I've lived this long. You, too?

I hate it when people mention metabolism or anything like that. It makes me feel antsy.

EDIT: Not saying I mind that you did it. I mean, when it comes up unexpectedly in the middle of a conversation.

I understand, sweets.

I hate when people question how much I'm eating. Yes, I know I've already had x amount of food. Yes, I would still like to consume more. No, I don't need your fucking opinion about it.

I don't understand the 'I'm not going to funerals' kind of thing, I completely and totally understand the 'If I go to the funeral I'll have to avoid this person because s/he's very over-sensitive and takes himself too seriously', hmm so I guess, if the funeral is filled to bursting with those kind of people ... that would not be nice. I've always thought funerals were for the living, a lot of the younger generations (not my grandparents / great aunts/uncles) don't believe in wearing black, so it's mostly a nice event where the whole family gets together with all of the interesting friends, there's a massive party, and most importantly, you only talk about the dead person and you find out loads about his or her life that you never knew before, either because you never met that area of his life before (e.g I met all of the famous football managers my great-uncle had worked with over the years at his funeral, I'd never asked about his work before), or because it had been sworn to secrecy due to embarrassment but hey like they'll care now!

I love the funerals of people who had full lives, not in the same way I love chocolate, they're still sad, but they're a great way to say goodbye and understand what a brilliant life it was.

It also makes me realise that even though it feels like I have day after day of sitting around doing nothing, put together in a quick round-up of my life, I've had a fun life so far, which will hopefully continue.

I've actually never been to a funeral. I was too young when I was back home to go to the funeral of my great nan, and when both of my great grandfathers died I had no way of going back home to do so. The one time I could have gone to a funeral down here, I opted out. A really good friend of mine had been hit by a drunk driver whilst walking home from his gf's house and I wasn't ready to say goodbye.

That's how I view funerals and memorials, as a way to say goodbye to the people you love.

My mum went to one with my birthfather, his family is Catholic. She said that at the ceremony after the church bit, she was immediately handed a beer and everyone proceeded to get drunk.

Funerals are a bit too...enclosed. Trapping. Stiff. I hate it.

Oh, wanna know the great thing? There was this one dumb bitch who kept making racist comments while talking about her lawn care business. Of course, those damn Mexicans with their million kids are teh reason her business is failing. NOt becuase she xcan't remain sober for a day straight.

I was seething.

Well duh, mexicans are bad for business.