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???: Haha! Ive finally found the correct time period! Now, to get my revenge.
Should we give ??? A name at this point? He’s kinda becoming the main character.
  
<1,200 years earlier....>

Quilliam : Zon, Pheely - I'm telling you guys, I can go back and get that McRibBlaster and destroy it before Buttigieg eats it and mutates into the supreme overlord that eventually starts WWIII and kills my uncle. I'll finally get revenge on that stupid sandwich!
  
Zon: Are you sure that thing works? I mean, what would even happen if it doesn’t?
  
Quilliam : Hey! There's no need to get the lab director involved. All I did was steal the university's Tachyon Beam, Relativistic Mitigator, and Graviton Emitter, and cram them into this small, metal box I found by the dump.

Hmmmm..... I think I'll call it the "Chronological Dilator". It'll get me where I need to go.
  
Pheely: God, why'd you have to do this Quilliam? The director'll hear about this anyways, so why wait and make ourselves look suspicious? I'm going to come clean to him if you aren't!
  
Quilliam:
Don't worry, everything is all under the radar.

Sure, I might have been spotted by one of the academic personnels when I was figuring out the transporters at the lab, but that's been taken care of.
  
Zon: You didn't get caught, did you? It's practically the middle of the day, so there could have been a couple of researchers wandering about. At least all the students are in class.
  
Pheely : Oh, wow, whoop-de-doo, Quilliam! You know, this is just like you, stealing lab equipment to deal with that stupid sandwich. News Flash, Quilliam : It's a freaking sandwich, and nobody cares!
  
Quilliam: So I wasn't able to get any information about the grades for our final projects, but I did get my hands on a few parts here. They should be enough for me to stop that sandwich from existing.
  
Zon: you had better have our grades! You already messed up with our homework last week!
  
Quilliam : Hey, guys. I've got big news...


Wanna call it there for this one or keep going?
  
I say we end it.
  
Sounds good. If someone wants to write up a summary of the whole thing, I can get a link to it for the first post.

Currently, the title has a placeholder of "An Untimely Mishap." If you guys think of a better title, I'll put it in.
I also think those question marks should get the name Quilliam put into them once it's written up. It wouldn't make sense to start masking the name after we figure out who it is.
  
I like "An Untimely Mishap" but I'll give titling a spin.

A Toast to Time Trials and Error.
  
From A Toast to Time Trials and Error:
Quilliam : Hey, guys. I've got big news...

Zon: you had better have our grades! You already messed up with our homework last week!

Quilliam: So I wasn't able to get any information about the grades for our final projects, but I did get my hands on a few parts here. They should be enough for me to stop that sandwich from existing.

Pheely : Oh, wow, whoop-de-doo, Quilliam! You know, this is just like you, stealing lab equipment to deal with that stupid sandwich. News Flash, Quilliam : It's a freaking sandwich, and nobody cares!

Zon: You didn't get caught, did you? It's practically the middle of the day, so there could have been a couple of researchers wandering about. At least all the students are in class.

Quilliam:
Don't worry, everything is all under the radar.

Sure, I might have been spotted by one of the academic personnels when I was figuring out the transporters at the lab, but that's been taken care of.

Pheely: God, why'd you have to do this Quilliam? The director'll hear about this anyways, so why wait and make ourselves look suspicious? I'm going to come clean to him if you aren't!

Quilliam : Hey! There's no need to get the lab director involved. All I did was steal the university's Tachyon Beam, Relativistic Mitigator, and Graviton Emitter, and cram them into this small, metal box I found by the dump.

Hmmmm..... I think I'll call it the "Chronological Dilator". It'll get me where I need to go.

Zon: Are you sure that thing works? I mean, what would even happen if it doesn’t?

Quilliam : Zon, Pheely - I'm telling you guys, I can go back and get that McRibBlaster and destroy it before Buttigieg eats it and mutates into the supreme overlord that eventually starts WWIII and kills my uncle. I'll finally get revenge on that stupid sandwich!

<1,200 years earlier....>

Quilliam: Haha! I’ve finally found the correct time period! Now, to get my revenge.

Quilliam: Okay, and to make sure nobody takes it, I'll write "Freeze! Do Not Take!"

F-R-E-E-

Ah man, the pen ran out of ink! Whatever, it's probably fine. Who would steal a Chronological dilator?

A Random Passerby: What's this? A free toaster? I wonder if I can take it?

Quilliam: Hey! What do you think you’re doing?!? Don’t touch that!

A Random Passerby: Oh. Oh no! My bad. I'm sorry, so sorry. I'll leave!

Quilliam: I knew it was risky to take this here! Spotted almost immediately... I think I can write "Toast" on this button and pass it off as a toaster. I better hide this somewhere.

Quilliam: This'll probably be safe here. Nobody in the time period probably knows how to use a chronological dilator anyways. Now to grab a limited time McRibBlaster Sandwich before it's sold out!

And if someone takes it, I can just track them down later with the homing beacon.

Douglas: "Wow! What a neat looking contraption! Is this some sort of advertisement? Why's it on a bench?"

Douglas: ...hmm. This button says "Toast" on it. There are also some slots here so it most probably is a toaster. What was I thinking before? Anyways, let's grab some random bread from my bag.

Old Lady : Oh hello, dearie. What's that you've got there?

silence

Oh, fine. Just ignore me.

Douglas: wait, so....if I just press this in, I’ll get toast! It looks like a toaster.....I think. Man, company’s sure are getting wild. Bzzzzt

Douglas : Holy shit! I just pressed the toaster's lever and that old lady got vaporized? The dial says 1772, did I just disintegrate her at 1772°F?

Douglas: Hooo boy I better figure out what this does before it causes another accident. I should find a park bench or something.

Quilliam: Hey, buddy, watch where you're going. You almost knocked me ov - It's you!

Douglas: Woah, didn't see you there! I was too busy messing with this toaster thingy.

Quilliam: Shut up and give me what's rightfully mine! Hey - look (sound of projector turning on) I'm a big scary ghoooooooooost so you should give it to meeeeeeeeeeee! People from your time are afraid of ghosts, right?

Douglas:
Hey, now... I don't want to fight, man! What- what do you want from me?

Quilliam: Give me that toaster! You took it from me early today, and it's mine! And definitely not a time travel device.

<Sound of Doug being knocked to the ground>

Quilliam: And I'll take this phone and wallet, too! Consider it recompense for stealing my Chronological Dilator!

<Sound of feet running off and of a holographic projector, circa 3229, deactivating>

(Doug gets to his feet)

Doug: Dang, that seemed like a fever dream. I hope I didn't lose anything...

Doug: Aw crap, the mugger took my phone and wallet. Let me find a pay phone or something...

<Somewhere in a different part of town, one less dangerous and less freaky>

Louis: Where's Doug?

Josh: Man, Doug's taking his time. I thought he went on a short beer run? How long has he been out, almost 5 hours now?

Louis: Oh, it's Doug. Finally, he's calling...

"Hello?"

Douglas: Hey Louis, I need some help. Can you come over to the west bank?

(Louis and crew drive over)

Louis: Douglas, my man! You gotta call us sooner than this! You look like you've talked to the reaper a few times this night.

Douglas: No, I'm fine, I'm fine. That guy certainly wasn't after what just happened out there right now--
But, oh man, -whistle-
Damn.

Louis: I highly doubt you were fine. What did you even imagine?

Douglas: But I saw that dude turn into a gigantic ghost that wanted to suck out my soul!

Josh: Pssh, that's absurd. You sure you didn't eat something weird last night?

[He briefly eyes the kitchen fridge before resuming his task of flipping through a box of records.]

Louis: You need to calm yourself down. Your mind must have been playing tricks on you. There's no way a mugger could turn into a phantasmal figure. Just... come over here, sit down.

Douglas: I really need a drink though. I can't believe what happened out there in the street. I mean, who would have thought that mugger was...

No, I should stop thinking about it. Where are the drinks?

Josh : Who cares, man? Just dance.

Douglas:
All this buzz is making me thirsty.

[The fridge creaks open. Douglas haphazardly holds a grimy carton towards Louis.]

...Do you guys ever clean out the fridge?

Louis : Doug, it's the frat fridge. Don't touch it. Who knows how long that milk's been in there?

"Seriously, I think we need to reconsider why this is in here."
Time: 30.343 days.
  
I prefer the second name, and I like how the story went from a gross fridge to a time traveling toaster.
  
You can change the name to the second one, Wycca.

Time to start a new story. Whoever wants a go at it, have fun. I've started the previous two stories already.

Oh, and the <1200 years eariler> tag goes after that line because it doesn't make sense before. Just that change and the story should be complete.
  
Guess I'll start the next one again.


"You've gotta stop throwing these things into the lake. It only makes our situation worse."
  
Hannah : "Craig, what Dewey and I are saying is that you can't destroy every action figure in Brooklyn. The police are already on to you, and who knows what happens if they catch you?"
  
Craig: This company destroyed my parents! They made their living hand-crafting action figures, and this monopoly steamrolled them out of business! I'm doing it for them, guys. Can't you see that?!
  
Dewey:
You're breaking yourself apart faster than what you're doing to them!
This isn't healthy, Craig.
  
Craig: I have to do this, don't you see? It's my destiny! One by one, I can chuck 'em into the lake! I can take the company down. One. By. One.

<Craig pulls out a few hairs>
  
Hannah: This isn't you, Craig! You've destroyed everything you had!
  
Craig: Who cares about the money anymore! If I'm going to trash these, why bother buying them? The company already has its banks filled to the brim. They don't need these sales. I need this. I have to chuck them to their watery graves.
  
Hannah: Craig, you don't want to do this! Think about the money-
  
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