Suddenly, 13ft Gabe Newell approaches you. "After thirteen feet in development, hopefully it was worth the wait." You are crushed.
You eat a suspicious fungus that is rainbow-coloured.
135.637 days ago
Nov 14, 2022 - 4:24 PM
You start hallucinating rainbows and unicorns everywhere. But one of them is pissed off and impales you with its horn.
You invest in crypto.
135.636 days ago
Nov 14, 2022 - 4:26 PM
The FBI is now at your door...
you are about to be eaten alive by cannibals
135.634 days ago
Nov 14, 2022 - 4:29 PM
You get accidentally overcooked and tossed off a cliff.
You awoke a wasp nest, and you're allergic.
135.628 days ago
Nov 14, 2022 - 4:37 PM
Don't panic! They're not wasps. They're Tracker Jackers. Which is just as bad. You die painfully after experiencing severe hallucinations.
You are writing a book when a politician breaks into your home.
135.627 days ago
Nov 14, 2022 - 4:39 PM
The politician explains he needs to hide out to evade the police. You say no, so the politician writes a new bill which makes your life illegal. The police enforce.
You wake up one morning and realize you're on a burning mattress in the middle of a lake.
135.625 days ago
Nov 14, 2022 - 4:42 PM
You flee the burning mattress leaving you stranded in the water. Someone paddles a canoe over, but while trying to climb in you tip the canoe and sinks. Another person tries to rescue, but climbing into these things from the water is hard, and the people you left stranded out here with you kill you in frustration.
You come across a very odd looking genie with dark clothing.
118.878 days ago
Dec 1, 2022 - 10:38 AM
He's the Akinator. You play an unnecessarily dire game of 20 Questions and inexplicably, he guesses Hamtart87 - previously presumed vanished. You have a fatal heart attack due to shock, and you unlock a new hat for Akinator as your body begins to shut down.
You get swallowed alive by a whale!
118.812 days ago
Dec 1, 2022 - 12:13 PM
The whale shits an ungodly amount of ass, you included. You remain undigested, but instead suffocate as you cannot breathe the poop water.
You scrape your foot on a nail that was laced with poison.
118.179 days ago
Dec 2, 2022 - 3:25 AM
the accompanying hammer falls on your head
you sign on to two cans and string
118.157 days ago
Dec 2, 2022 - 3:56 AM
It ends up being a nuclear launch code
You just met the devil
114.752 days ago
Dec 5, 2022 - 1:40 PM
you fall into a pit
you get attached to 240v of power
114.606 days ago
Dec 5, 2022 - 5:09 PM
You get sucked into a black hole
Your mom enters your room, holding her belt
114.561 days ago
Dec 5, 2022 - 6:14 PM
Attempting to flee, you jump out the window…of your 5 story building.
You’re left stranded in greenland.
111.005 days ago
Dec 9, 2022 - 7:34 AM
The ice caps melt
You are in the afterlife watching all these deaths happen
110.715 days ago
Dec 9, 2022 - 2:33 PM
You see the Grim Reaper.
You're being pounced by the family dog
110.709 days ago
Dec 9, 2022 - 2:41 PM
You manage to dodge just in time, by rolling sideways into the fireplace.
Someone fills your humidifier with rubbing alcohol.
110.696 days ago
Dec 9, 2022 - 2:59 PM
You find them and try to stuff hydrogen peroxide down their throat, but it pours into your mouth instead,
You find a bloated lithium-ion battery
110.694 days ago
Dec 9, 2022 - 3:03 PM
A few lithium ions leak out of it, and you choke on them.
You are hanging from the gallows with a rope around your neck.
110.646 days ago
Dec 9, 2022 - 4:12 PM
The rope snaps, you fall onto the street below where a car conveniently happens to run over you as soon as you hit the ground.
You feel an intense chest pain, but cannot diagnose the cause.
110.122 days ago
Dec 10, 2022 - 4:46 AM
After a moment of pondering, some strange scientists approach you, pick you up all at once, and carry you to a hospital bed. They come to the conclusion that there's something inside of you trying to get out, and they know very well what is coming. They huddle around you as your chest starts to look all crazy and gross-looking. It's a Chestburster, and you're FUCKED.
You drink milk straight from the gallon a day after it expired.
64.789 days ago
Jan 24, 2023 - 12:46 PM
The milk was okay, and you don't get sick from it. While you were enjoying your delicious milk, however, an intruder burst into your home, and shoots you out of pure hatred of milk.
You are tied to a wooden post, with fire underneath you.
64.682 days ago
Jan 24, 2023 - 3:20 PM
The fire is from a rocket, blasting off into space. Looks like you don't have a space suit.
You are in the Ruins from Undertale
64.68 days ago
Jan 24, 2023 - 3:22 PM
You immediately die.
You put a can of soup on the burner.
64.384 days ago
Jan 24, 2023 - 10:30 PM
You forgot to turn the burner on so it doesn't explode. But, you end up falling onto the can face first, and slicing your jugular vein.
There is an axe-wielding maniac coming after you.
64.379 days ago
Jan 24, 2023 - 10:37 PM
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