Two Cans & String

{ "thread_id": "138", "posts": [ { "id": "1180161", "time": "1638544539", "html": "Granted, the adaptation fuckin' sucked, and you become a social outcast as you continue to defend it as a quality anime adaptation, by yourself.<br /><br />I wish I could do more.", "user": "delbeto" }, { "id": "1180174", "time": "1638553053", "html": "Granted, you find someone named "More" and "do" them. You then go to prison for sexual assault.<br /><br />I wish I could eat my cake and have it too.", "user": "magicsnake" }, { "id": "1180191", "time": "1638559716", "html": "Granted, you're dead now...congrats<br />I wish for no more COVID", "user": "apeiceofcheese" }, { "id": "1180198", "time": "1638561818", "html": "Granted, theres a new killer virus<br /><br />i wish that I was able to sleep", "user": "broncoboy18" }, { "id": "1180199", "time": "1638561987", "html": "Granted! You have a good, restful sleep... during the entirety of your school day. Your parents and school are both mad, and you've managed to miss 7 assignments and 5 tests. Good luck!<br /><br />I wish for a PS5.", "user": "ebag" }, { "id": "1180202", "time": "1638562090", "html": "granted, but it's a little dusty...<br />I wish for my homework to be done.", "user": "apeiceofcheese" }, { "id": "1180204", "time": "1638562185", "html": "Granted, it's done by a kid 5 years younger than you, with no knowledge of the subject.<br /><br />I wish I was more active.", "user": "ebag" }, { "id": "1180205", "time": "1638562209", "html": "Granted, you now cant leave this site, or your computer<br />I wish I was at home", "user": "broncoboy18" }, { "id": "1180208", "time": "1638562475", "html": "<div style=\"font-style:italic;color:#888;\">That's me anyways, haha.</div><br />Granted, you are in your first home, occupied by new inhabitants, who think you are a criminal.<br /><br />I wish that I was more fit.", "user": "ebag" }, { "id": "1180209", "time": "1638562561", "html": "Granted, you're in china<br />I wish for school to end.", "user": "apeiceofcheese" }, { "id": "1180210", "time": "1638562563", "html": "Granted, school ends but not the cries<br />I wish I had that 10k pc I joked about if I had the money I'd buy", "user": "broncoboy18" }, { "id": "1180211", "time": "1638562630", "html": "Granted, but I stole it.<br />I wish for a partner.", "user": "apeiceofcheese" }, { "id": "1180213", "time": "1638562690", "html": "Granted, but I take the PC back and it can't be taken again<br /><br />I wish I had a new bed", "user": "broncoboy18" }, { "id": "1180215", "time": "1638562786", "html": "Granted, it has dora all over it.<br />I wish for another dog", "user": "apeiceofcheese" }, { "id": "1180217", "time": "1638562844", "html": "Granted, but it's from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure<br /><br />I wish I had more anime to watch", "user": "broncoboy18" }, { "id": "1180240", "time": "1638571094", "html": "granted, it's the cringiest shit the entire population of humanity has ever seen<br /><br />i wish i could have an airsoft gun. real guns? those are for NERDS.<br /><span style=\"color:#808080;\">that was a joke.</span>", "user": "cheeseman" }, { "id": "1180347", "time": "1638744822", "html": "granted, it fires real bullets <span style=\"color:#ffffff;\">and has a defect that causes it to backfire every once in a while</span><br /><br />I wish school was over already", "user": "fattythefatguy" }, { "id": "1180377", "time": "1638825676", "html": "Granted. It's been over for 5 years, because of the series of Pumpkin incidents, and you have the education of a 10-year old in high school. It starts tomorrow. Good luck!<br /><br />I wish my dog didn't want to eat my yellow apples.", "user": "ackyyackyattack" }, { "id": "1180386", "time": "1638828022", "html": "Granted.<br /><br />Your dog has given up eating the yellow apples. It was his favorite snack until this point, but he suddenly stopped eating them one morning, as if on a whim. You didn't consider much of it, since you constantly lost your afternoon snack to the rascal, so you took the event in stride and ate the apples to your heart's content. Unfortunately for you, there was a more sinister reason behind this sudden change in behavior.<br /><br />You see, your dog was actually the result of a lot of hard work and training by the government. He was trained to have a steel stomach and a hypersensitive nose. He was able to track down all sorts of poisons and toxins in close range, as anything further than 5 feet would give the poor creature too much sensory overload. It was a great project for the military, but it was unfortunately overshadowed by PETA, who was taking the experimented dogs and putting them down "for their own good." Knowing that the military has found an organization worse than itself, they put a quick end to their project, and released the remaining dogs to local animal shelters.<br /><br />Back to the present day, you find yourself starting to feel woozy. What was in the apples that caused you to feel this way? More importantly, why didn't your dog catch it this time? Turns out, just yesterday you decided to post your grievances about your longtime friend and companion on a public forum. The dog, obviously trained in stopping acts of terrorism, saw this as an attack on his character. He lost his faith in protecting you, as you were blatantly dissing his credibility online, where other coworkers of his might see and laugh at where he ended up. In your rash actions, your dog gave up protecting you and decided that your life was not worth saving anymore. Besides, the apples made his tummy hurt, and he wanted a new owner anyways.<br /><br />As you lay on the floor, dying from dysentery, your dog walks out the front door back to the animal shelter he came from. You may never know why your apples were poisoned, but your last moments before your intestines dissolve away include you watching your best friend leave you in the dust. If only you believed in your dog more...<br /><br />I wish for a cat.", "user": "mathmaniac125" }, { "id": "1180396", "time": "1638829969", "html": "Granted. I reincarnate as a cat. I am your cat.<span style=\"font-weight:bold;\"> Have fun.</span><br /><br />I wish for Brain Griffin to be real.", "user": "ackyyackyattack" }, { "id": "1180404", "time": "1638833364", "html": "granted, but they're a little sus...<br /> I wish for more social skills", "user": "apeiceofcheese" }, { "id": "1180405", "time": "1638833764", "html": "Granted, but your grandma is way cooler. She steals the man/woman/captain you are dating, and attracts all your friends. Also, she makes Brain Griffin real.<br /><br />I wish for people to break less laws.", "user": "ackyyackyattack" }, { "id": "1180715", "time": "1638969680", "html": "Granted, now there are no laws. The world has descended into chaos.<br /><br />I wish to install Counter Strike: Source. Maybe that'll solve the purple and black checkerboards everywhere.", "user": "ashdies" }, { "id": "1181091", "time": "1639148760", "html": "Granted, the game's fine, but now you have no textures anymore.<br /><br />I wish I could finally have the chocolate chip muffin in the pantry.", "user": "delbeto" }, { "id": "1181440", "time": "1639370261", "html": "Granted. It tips your blood sugar over the edge, and now you have diabetes. Yippie!<br /><br />I wish the next person to post has a good relationship with their father.", "user": "ackyyackyattack" } ], "users": { "delbeto": { "name": "delbeto", "key": "delbeto", "url": "/users/delbeto", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/31710.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "4572" }, "magicsnake": { "name": "MagicSnake", "key": "magicsnake", "url": "/users/magicsnake", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/19623.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "142" }, "apeiceofcheese": { "name": "apeiceofcheese", "key": "apeiceofcheese", "url": "/users/apeiceofcheese", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/33537.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "409" }, "broncoboy18": { "name": "BroncoBoy18", "key": "broncoboy18", "url": "/users/broncoboy18", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/33510.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "8379" }, "ebag": { "name": "e-bag", "key": "ebag", "url": "/users/ebag", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/30674.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "9430" }, "cheeseman": { "name": "cheese man", "key": "cheeseman", "url": "/users/cheeseman", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/32837.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "2843" }, "fattythefatguy": { "name": "Fatty the fat guy", "key": "fattythefatguy", "url": "/users/fattythefatguy", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/16460.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "2526" }, "ackyyackyattack": { "name": "ackyyackyattack", "key": "ackyyackyattack", "url": "/users/ackyyackyattack", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/33812.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "8012" }, "mathmaniac125": { "name": "Mathmaniac125", "key": "mathmaniac125", "url": "/users/mathmaniac125", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/18189.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "3415" }, "ashdies": { "name": "AshDies", "key": "ashdies", "url": "/users/ashdies", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/31239.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "11" } }, "page_num": 724, "locked": 0, "total_pages": 731 }

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