Two Cans & String

{ "thread_id": "138", "posts": [ { "id": "1181457", "time": "1639401811", "html": "Granted, that's why he's dead now.<br />i wish for a good gift for christmas", "user": "apeiceofcheese" }, { "id": "1182195", "time": "1639692820", "html": "It immediately breaks.<br /><br />I wish for a good pair of headphones", "user": "guyguy" }, { "id": "1182281", "time": "1639747521", "html": "Granted, but its starting to fade away.<br />I wish for school to finish so I can go home", "user": "apeiceofcheese" }, { "id": "1182291", "time": "1639749433", "html": "Granted. The shooting that was threatened <span style=\"font-style:italic;\">does</span> happen, and you die. At least there's no more school.<br /><br />I wish for a hug from an old friend.", "user": "ackyyackyattack" }, { "id": "1182417", "time": "1639772237", "html": "Granted, but they accidentally choke you in the process, causing your death.<br />I wish for my friend to die. (yes, you. the sitting one next to me)", "user": "apeiceofcheese" }, { "id": "1182616", "time": "1639946467", "html": "granted, it creates a domino effect that results in the death of every user on this site<br /><br />I wish for the US to abolish the speed limit on rural sections of interstate highway", "user": "fattythefatguy" }, { "id": "1183024", "time": "1640324761", "html": "Granted. People are speeding everywhere now. This starts a chain reaction which, in the end, causes 39 strangers to flash their wang at you in one day. Now look at what you've done!<br /><br />I wish I had a sleep paralysis demon that would be nice and snuggle me at night when I get scared of the paralysis.", "user": "ackyyackyattack" }, { "id": "1183037", "time": "1640366929", "html": "granted, but the sleep paralysis demon is covered in spikes, so everytime it tries to comfort you it hurts<br /><br />i wish i had more peppermint bark", "user": "stripes" }, { "id": "1183038", "time": "1640372244", "html": "<div style=\"font-style:italic;color:#888;\"> Yay, pain! </div><br /><br />Granted. You try to eat it, but all of a sudden, it becomes peanut bark, which you are highly allergic to! You die.<br /><br />I wish I didn't get constant nosebleeds.", "user": "ackyyackyattack" }, { "id": "1183433", "time": "1640936498", "html": "Granted, you bleed internally<br /><br />I wish for something interesting to happen", "user": "fattythefatguy" }, { "id": "1183460", "time": "1640979064", "html": "Granted. You see some interesting caramel candies, and eat them all. You now have that icky, sickly, sticky feeling in the back of your throat...<br /><br />I wish my dog would willingly sit with me on this chair.", "user": "ackyyackyattack" }, { "id": "1183461", "time": "1640979730", "html": "The dog sits on the floor, with you on the chair.<br /><br />I wish I had magical healing abilities.", "user": "poodonkus913" }, { "id": "1183672", "time": "1641218001", "html": "Granted, but everyone knows that the healer is the first one killed.<br /><br />I wish that I could travel back in time before Christmas break.", "user": "probot" }, { "id": "1183674", "time": "1641221845", "html": "Granted, but everything you did then, you do twice, including aging, and you keep looping, you can not die either, you are an immortal husk cause of this<br /><br />I wish I could be in lunch already", "user": "broncoboy18" }, { "id": "1183675", "time": "1641224881", "html": "Granted, but now the lunch ladies have a plot worthy of Captain Underpants. But you don't have Captain Underpants, do you?<br /><br />I wish...to finally get a normal egg.", "user": "probot" }, { "id": "1183677", "time": "1641225546", "html": "Granted, you start to cook it, smoke starts filling the room, you pass out, and when you wake up you are in a teal suit, and with 455 other people, you can see where i'm going with this<br /><br />I wish I could beat Jevil and Spamton NEO", "user": "broncoboy18" }, { "id": "1183680", "time": "1641225938", "html": "Granted, but I had to corrupt your save file to do it.<br /><br />I wish I could have a completely normal egg without getting taken to Squid Game. (edit: Reading this out loud, why did I have to get to this point?)", "user": "probot" }, { "id": "1183681", "time": "1641226419", "html": "Granted. You receive a normal, unchanged, perfect little clownfish egg. But it gets eaten by a shark. Finding Nemo.<br /><br />I wish for James Woods to just <span style=\"font-style:italic;\">stop</span> what he's doing.", "user": "ackyyackyattack" }, { "id": "1190271", "time": "1643636881", "html": "granted. two more people start doing it but worse<br /><br />i wish i could be on top of my schoolwork", "user": "beck" }, { "id": "1190306", "time": "1643637712", "html": "Granted. You find yourself physically on top of a hill of your schoolwork.<br /><br />I wish I wasn't around this goddamn lunatic Summer, I really wish she'd just leave.", "user": "ackyyackyattack" }, { "id": "1190339", "time": "1643640540", "html": "She left, forcibly dragging you with her.<br /><br />I wish I was a god.", "user": "probot" }, { "id": "1190346", "time": "1643642621", "html": "Granted, but you are so dumb you jump off a cliff thinking you were able to immediately learn to fly.<br />I wish for covid to end", "user": "apeiceofcheese" }, { "id": "1190661", "time": "1643717945", "html": "granted, but covid-20 immediately starts<br /><br />i wish i could take a nap", "user": "beck" }, { "id": "1190669", "time": "1643721646", "html": "Granted, but you dream about elmo, and he's slowly gaining on you...<br />I wish for my neck to stop hurting.", "user": "apeiceofcheese" }, { "id": "1191040", "time": "1643742280", "html": "Granted! You turn your neck, and it pops out of place. You're losing consciousness. You last thought before you pass out is "Hey, at least my neck doesn't hurt anymore."<br /><br />I wish that I could understand Spanish easier.", "user": "ebag" } ], "users": { "apeiceofcheese": { "name": "apeiceofcheese", "key": "apeiceofcheese", "url": "/users/apeiceofcheese", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/33537.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "409" }, "guyguy": { "name": "guyguy", "key": "guyguy", "url": "/users/guyguy", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/30108.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "1754" }, "ackyyackyattack": { "name": "ackyyackyattack", "key": "ackyyackyattack", "url": "/users/ackyyackyattack", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/33812.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "8012" }, "fattythefatguy": { "name": "Fatty the fat guy", "key": "fattythefatguy", "url": "/users/fattythefatguy", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/16460.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "2526" }, "stripes": { "name": "stripes", "key": "stripes", "url": "/users/stripes", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/24813.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "1734" }, "poodonkus913": { "name": "Poodonkus913", "key": "poodonkus913", "url": "/users/poodonkus913", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/32795.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "2505" }, "probot": { "name": "Probot", "key": "probot", "url": "/users/probot", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/32347.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "807" }, "broncoboy18": { "name": "BroncoBoy18", "key": "broncoboy18", "url": "/users/broncoboy18", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/33510.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "8379" }, "beck": { "name": "beck", "key": "beck", "url": "/users/beck", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/32409.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "1553" }, "ebag": { "name": "e-bag", "key": "ebag", "url": "/users/ebag", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/30674.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "9430" } }, "page_num": 725, "locked": 0, "total_pages": 731 }

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