ForumForum Games ► Calvinball
Sick of organized sports? Play Calvinball! The only rule in Calvinball is that you can never play using the same rules twice. I'd give you an example, but you should really just go read Calvin and Hobbes if you don't understand. They're good books.
I'll start.
I serve the Calvinball, and it lands near the second wicket. I start to run to first base, attempting to make it before anyone can tackle me and make me recant my previously stated views on the Universe and my place in it.
  
Faulting the first shot, he picks up the calvinball again and pegs it over, returned with a nice drive but then volleyed over the side to score them 4 runs.
  
I kick the calvin ball towards the goal, but it is deflected by a beater
  
I catch the calvinball, and give a nice serve into enemy territory, +1 point for me :D
  
I grab the ball and form a maul with armo and gain 20 yards
  
I tackle you and kick the ball to the midfielder, who grabs his bat and balances the ball on it.
  
I smash the Calvinball with the but of a shotgun and blow my foot off, giving the coach $45 from the goal boy!
  
I bribe the goalboy, who lets me borrow his shotgun and I shoot a hole in the ball, giving me an advantage of 50 seconds.
  
The referee chucks Calvinballs at the audience with a T-Shirt Cannon, the third ball kills someone. That one is to be used for play now.
  
I run to the third ball and jump over it before anyone else can, sending all of you to the Time-Out Box, which you'll have to find yourselves.
  
I unleash the lions onto the defender's giving me 2 spoinks and a crocket.
  
Checkmate!
  
Talon now has to unclog the bathroom toilets after the "Lightning Round".
  
i grab another calvinball from storage and punt it down a hill. +1 shotgun!
  
I catch the Calvinball at the bottom of the hill and bury it in a seven-foot hole I dug overnight. Then I run to deep left field and steal one of the flags.
  
I get dealt the perfect poker hand. WHAT NOW?
  
I poke your hand with the flag, making you drop the cards. For the rest of this round of the game, you may only walk backwards.
  
Just before I dive to catch the calvinball that has been shot at me with a cannon, I reach into my pants and pull out my cup to use it as a catcher's mitt. When I catch the Calvinball, I realize I must then kill the nonexistent referee.
  
I point out that you are standing in a "Target" zone, and therefore you are the goal until someone uproots a Time-warp wicket and strikes you upside the head with it.
  
IT'S OPPOSITE DAY MUTHAF*CKAS

YOUR BALL
  
I throw the ball into the air but my planes accidentally hit the ball into your side of the hexagon
  
I place a fresh stone, capturing two of the opposition's men and creating a two-eyed structure.
  
I pick up the ball but I tripped and threw it in the snake pit
  
I kick the ball and fall on my back thus paralyzing me.
  
I pick up the ball and trow it toward the sky
  
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