ForumForum Games ► Brockian Ultra Cricket
Yes, the popular game from the Higher Dimensions has now come to TCAS! Team signups are now open! The maximum number of players is infinite for each team, and you may play as soon as you sign up. If you wish to read all the rules of Brockian Ultra Cricket, please look in the black hole that used to be the volumes 1-102910928820191102928390192810192838736289109273728919182719273729271829272.222... of the rules. If you are skittish about certain death, here are some guideline rules:

Rule One:

Grow at least three extra legs. You won't need them, but it keeps the crowds amused.

Rule Two (for captains):

Find one good Brockian Ultra-Cricket player and clone him off a few times. This saves an enormous amount of tedious selection and training.

Rule Three (for captains):

Put your team and the opposing team in a large field and build a high wall round them.

The reason for this is that, though the game is a major spectator sport, the frustration experienced by the audience at not actually being able to see what's going on leads them to imagine that it's a lot more exciting than it actually is. A crowd that has just watched a rather humdrum game experiences far less life-affirmation than a crowd that believes it has just missed the most dramatic event in sporting history.

Rule Four (for everyone playing):

Throw lots of assorted items of sporting equipment over the walls for the players. Anything will do - cricket bats, basecube bats, tennis guns, skis, anything you can get a good swing with.

Rule five:

The players should now lay about themselves for all they are worth with whatever they find to hand. Whenever a player scores a 'hit' on another player, he should immediately run away and apologize from a safe distance.

Apologies should be concise, sincere and, for maximum clarity and points, delivered through a megaphone.

Rule Six:

The winning team shall be the first team that wins.

Let the First Brockian Ultra Cricket game BEGIN!

  
I call captain!
  
With this, I have fallen in love with you a little bit Lazro.

I call team captain as well. I shall grow seven extra limbs, twelve of which shall grow directly from my cranium. My apologies shall be the most sincere from the largest possible distance away. My team will be the most brutal and polite team known to man. So join my team, fellow TCasers, and we shall have the most riveting possible action sequences that will never be seen!
  
I shall be lower-sub-underling-grunt.

I step up to the plate an prepare to fling a basecube bat over the high, fortified wall.
  
Expecting such a move, I throw a baseball up to meet it. This is how one plays the baseball mini-game, yes?
  
I throw a tennis racket to swat the glove away, and throw a baseball bat at the ball. Home run!
  
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