ForumForum Games ► The Story Battle
Great now everyone is sad
I decide that I need to find some kind of cosmic power for myself. I feel more of a hinderance than a help anymore and should hit the road and make myself useful. Soul searching time. Good luck my fellow story battlers. See you in a few months when I decide to start posting agai- I mean return from my adventure a more powerful being.
I send a cosmic pig as a spirit guide to aid in your adventure
I eat another ham sandwich to help raise my spirits
mine continue to be lowered
0.05% of earth's population is turned into trash golems that serve me.
I give you all my ham minions to your disposal for the meme
"YOU FOOL" I yell not because you possibly ended the world but it's because I was using you ham minions to make my ham sandwiches
Then enters the one and only CRAZY MAN
oh look, we swapped one character (SomeKiddo) for the OG Crazy Man
The trash and ham minions, unsupervised, do something unmentionable and frankly impossible considering what they are, resulting in trash-ham minion babies.
they're just a pile of tumors wanting death. a sadness nuke
The nuke part turns out to be more literal, destroying pretty much 90% of all developed nations
The world is now a sad post-apocalyptic wasteland
Of course, only the developed nations are affected. Nations that are developing are exactly the same. Places like Bulgaria and South Africa.
Obviously, as quantum tunneling only affects significantly wealthy nations, everybody knows that!
But back to the battle, I throw a razor sharp butter knife at the closest enemy
The mutated Trash-ham nuclear mutant absorbs the knife into its being, and proceeds to run towards you with an agonized, rage-filled roar.
I try to console the trash-ham-mutant and help it find happiness in life again.
Unfortunately, due to the mutations as a result of not only radiation, but also the unholy communion of a ham golem and a trash golem, existence itself is pain for the beast.
the mutants grow more ham tumors
Then they all explode and so does the planet they were living on YAY
That was earth. You are now charged with several counts of genocide and poaching. Not as many as you'd expect though, since everything was mostly dead anyways. But still, space cops on your ass.
The spirits of the mutated Trash-ham minions and tumors come and possess all the space cops.
As the trash-ham minions are under my (and technically sadham's) control, I (and sadham) now control the space police. They are still on whoever's ass they're supposed to be except now they're gonna break protocol.
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