ForumForum Games ► Calvinball
you don't realize the only rule is that no rule can be used twice.

Right?
  
My character is orange, and I try yet again to Poodonky Donk the ball. Then I remember that I can't use the same rule more than once. In my attempt, I instead turn my remaining bread orange. It tastes like Cheetos.
  
As everyone is trying to remember if they've used a rule twice, I have still been doing sliding goose trickshots. I've now killed a total of 68 geese, and I'm running out of birdshot, and will have to start using slugs unless someone provides support to keep the geese off me while I battle the goose god.
  
The ghost armada has begun haunting random bits of debris collected over the course of the game and formed it into a giant hand. The big hand then punches the goose god.
  
I use my goose powers to travel area. The few people who were in the used-to-be church are begging for mercy. I. AM. GOOSE.
  
I throw my only mustard gas grenade at Guyguy
  
Guyguy hates mustard. In fact, he is allergic to mustard. So, guyguy loses all of his power and 2 points because some kid wrote "mustard gas" on a packet from McDonalds.
  
The goose god is currently being strangled by the giant multi-haunted debris hand.
  
Not mustard!

I hate mustard, in fact i hate it so much I summon my brother
SIC EM i yell

well at least it isnt mayo I laugh to myself while opening a bottle of hot sauce and dipping a straw in it.
  
guyguy said:
opening a bottle of hot sauce and dipping a straw in it.


I puke in disgust at this act against nature
  
whats wrong? you dont like hot sauce?
  
Due to the expanse of hate against stuff you place on other stuff, everyone gets -3 points, except for ruerure
  
Ruerure starts hooting and hollering in victory, meanwhile I, RueRue, am still fighting the goose god with my ghostly brethren. We pull a three-stooges eye poke on it with the hand.
  
Quick my goose! take this! it is the magical juicy pear jelly belly jelly bean! you are immune from all three stooges attacks!
(I watched most of the episodes so i know most of them)
  
I'm now forced to play my trump card, Kimmy-Kun and the Orange Menace. I use my extensive contacts to convince them both they are in this very arena and make them nuke it. I take shelter in the Calvinball Nuclear Sheltertmand arm myself with an FN Minimi Mk3 just in case.
  
As everything is being obliterated by warfare, the game is moved somewhere less radioactive, and everyone's horribly mutated in the process. However, the good news is that everyone is alive, and we have a shiny new calvinball!
  
During the transfer I have developed an axe sticking out of my forehead. I promptly use that to smash the Calvinball into a thousand pieces. "50 points to whoever manages to swallow the highest number of Calvinball pieces whole!!!" I yell.
  
You have doomed yourself. I hold the world record for swallowing. I swallow all the time, these 50 points are mine.

I swallow 74% of the pieces, i have won the 50 points.
  
I release the new calvinball, this one is a carbon fiber lead-lined calvinball with a C4 core that will detonate if the amount of force applied to it exceeds that of a full sudden impact at terminal velocity.
  
I sneak away from the battle, a chunk of concrete floating away from the gigantic hand, to join the game in the new area. I cease haunting the random piece of debris and haunt the new calvinball, allowing me to interfere with the game for whatever ulterior motives I may have.
  
I steal the ball and hop into the closing goose portal
  
I magically reappear and use a time machine to change the past scores. Everyone loses ten points.
  
Using spooky ghost powers I hold the portal open while trying to remain in the ball. I fail, the calvinball popping out into our non-goose reality with me in it as the portal closes, trapping whoever that was in goose Olympus.
  
I rip the fabric of time and create several paradoxes causing me to gain 200 points
  
Unfortunately, the paradox police find you. You are put on trial and declared guilty of multiple counts of chronocide. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars.
  
Forum > Forum Games > Calvinball