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I sacrifice myself to the god Vulcan so that he stops the volcano from erupting, saving the world. However, I lose 10 points when I regenerate.
Because you prevented Vesuvius from erupting, you changed the entire timeline, ruining the universe as we know it. The stadium is sucked through a rift into an unaging, timeless, unending void. Congratulations, you just destroyed the universe!

You lose 10 points due to penalties.
I take the - sign from my -19 points and use it like a needle to sew up the space time hole. I now have 19 points.
Great job, but you forgot to move the stadium out of the hole. We're now stuck in the void.

I grab two gobs of quantum foam and put it on top of my ice cream sundae.
Turns out, the quantum foam is poisonous and you lose 3 turns due to food poisoning.
Edit to add: also being in a quantum void clears up plotholes In this game such as the inability to permanently die, so I’m actually a hero. You’re welcome.
Our ruckus attracted the attention of the Han dynasty in classical China, who would be ruling for another 141 years

you hear them saying "偷狗" in a slow ominous tone
I try to use a • as a bomb to free you. It’s not very effective.
I drop one of these:

and everyone who looks at it has to give me 10 points from their own score
no one looked down bc they are on a computer and looking straight. you lose 10 points for failure.
a lawyer pops up

"you found a loophole have $50"

the lawyer flies away
I grab the lawyer’s shoes and pull him down into the stadium. He is now a participating npc.
I found the food court in the stadium. I’m now threatening to blow it all up unless you help establish an agricultural system for our new civilization.
Haha, joke’s on you. I moved all the food from the food court to the locker rooms, stored it in a random locker and changed the combination. Now only I can find the food, and therefore, I control it.
How big is that locker? Must be pretty massive.
Yeah it is, big enough to hold the whole stadium. All the lockers are like this. There are 1,500 lockers. This plot hole is brought to you by: a rift in spacetime.
Dibs on mandroids's soul last page.
because the soul was on the last page you lose a point
I grab two pieces of duct tape and use them to fasten a crown out of a trashcan.

I am now king of the cockroaches
I immediately submit to you, as I would to any bug king.
Due to your subservience, I grant you a horrific mutation that makes you part cockroach, a terrifying creature to look at.

You have gained : Immortality and Radiation Resistance
I immediately take my place at your throne room, sharpening crude weapons to begin the bug uprising with. However, with no reason at all, I stab you in the back with a dull blade, which was so dull it barely scratched you, and I ran off to the mountains, singing “The hills are alive” and accidentally causing mass panic in the nearby mountain village. They take up torches and pitchforks and march to put an end to me. I die, ignorant yet blissful, and- wait, I’m immortal! BOW PEASANTS!
Bored with the life of royalty, I pawn off my trashcan to another cockroach.

And thus began the URRK dynasty, the most brutal regime the cockroaches have seen to date

I take my rightful place in the spectator stands, throwing popcorn and lead pipes at the players I dislike.
I jump up, and put you into the goal, I get 13 prongs and a crown.
I fasten the goal into a spectator seat and continue to throw lead pipes.
I give you a mediocre reward and a list of settlements that need your help.
I place the robber (pirate?) next to the settlements. When a total of 8 is rolled on 2 6-sided dice, they do not get any wheat.
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