ForumGeneral Discussion ► IAmA recovering asshole. AMA!
Asshole as in I'm a bad person, not that I hurt my rectum and it's healing.
Ask away!
  
Can you tell me of some of your more assholey escapades?
  
i was rude to someone somewhere at some point
  
How did you come to choose to change?
  
I didn't want to be an asshole anymore. I felt bad about it.
  
Any plans for coming to terms with those that you've been bad to?
  
I plan on apologizing, and trying to be nice from now on.
  
This is a bad plan for reasons.
  
Understandable, apologies.
  
Self-improvement is always a nice step to becoming a better person! Apologizing is not only very Canadian but also a kind gesture!
  
Thank you, Mr. Lateap.
  
I messed up, often drastically, I'd try to rectify it, but badly and selfishly motivated. For every 10 people I wronged, 9 will walk away and never want to trust me again and that's super fair I can see in hindsight.

At the time it was all muddled up in a myriad of inner dysfunctionalities that made simple things difficult for me to understand.

Nowadays, I can accept the past, and realize that the consequences of my actions is that some people will never look past it and I have to walk the fine line of accepting that, while also no feeling sorry for myself, or judging myself for it.

The best I can do is just keep on doing what I do and interact in right ways and correct ways with people.

You can't unburn the bridges you burn, but you can stop the behavior that burns bridges in the present and the future.

There are a lot of people who will never speak to me again. One of the hard parts of self improvement is learning that just because I stop doing wrong doesn't undo the wrong I've done and nobody owes me forgiveness.

Sometimes there is no redemption or atonement and that's OK. I'm pretty good now, but I sometimes feel sad and ashamed that it took a lot of years and a lot of hurting others through trial and error to get to a good place where I am today that's pretty level headed compared to a very toxic and turbulent life.

Of course, nothing toxic or turbulent looks that way when its the normal frame of mind. You have to get better to get a clearer grasp on how bad something was in the first place. Abnormalities look like normalities when you're surrounded by them inside yourself and outside yourself in the environment.
  
Thank you for that, Mr. Water Phoenix. I appreciate it the advice.
  
Forum > General Discussion > IAmA recovering asshole. AMA!