ForumGeneral Discussion ► Things that keep you up at night
Your greatest faux pas that keep you up constantly and you constantly regret them


alright let's go

making an sinophobic joke in 7th grade math class
  
Man if that’s what keeps you up at night then you should learn to cut yourself a break and call yourself a good person.
  
I had been driving for a couple hours on a SUPER long stretch of rural highway. There was nothing on it; no towns, no stop signs, nothing. Then, out of nowhere, there is an intersection and there IS a stop sign.

I didn't notice it until the last second and totally sped through the intersection at 60 miles per hour. There was a guy at the intersection, and thank goodness he was paying more attention than me - it would have been a terrible accident if he assumed I would stop. Pretty sure he got a full view of me staring at him open-mouthed in horror as I realized what I'd done.

Dunno why, but I think about this often even though it was years and years ago. Probably around 2013 or 2014.
  
Yeah my dad had a simalar experience
We were heading home after a town event and he got a bit distracted and missed the turn off, thankfully it was a small road and it was night
  
wearing a mothereffing zink layered ls i got off redbubble to 9th grade smash club. god was that embarrassing. i wore it under a jacket the entire day too because i was too embarrassed to show it off.

the first smash tournament i ever attended was in 8th grade and i was in way over my head. thought i could style on a guy by playing falcon (someone i'm not terribly familiar with) and got washed.
  
it took me like a year of saying the word "coochie" way too freaking often before i learned what it meant and boy howdy did i feel really freaking weird that day

at least i was pronouncing it like "koshy" so i guess i can at least cross my fingers and pray that the people i said it to didn't understand me or something.
  
Change that coochie to Cauchy and get integrating.
  
Change that Cauchy to couchy and get elevated.
  
Change that couchy to cachet and get taken seriously.
  
my pencil case in 8th grade had "fuck me in the ass tonight" written on the inside and i obviously was fucking lost my sanity or something when i wrote it in full ass permanent marker and no way was i about to ask my mom for a new one "mom i need a new pencil case" "what's wrong with it" "i wrote a bad thing on it" hell no no way was i gonna do that. so i just closed it every time someone walked by my desk. one time i unfortunately forgot it and my math teacher literally saw it had text inside the case and started reading it and got to the halfway point before realizing what it said it was like "oh [titanlord237] what does your pencil case say? fuc-" and holy shit was that embarrassing as hell

another thing that happened in the same class i accidentally wrote fanfiction about a fanfiction that i read and it was a ranking tier list of the main characters in order and one of the kids sitting next to me grabbed it and read out all the names out loud and pretended to know what it was which made me super uber embarrassed before he conceded that he had no idea what the names were but my heartrate close to doubled during that
  
okay literally everything i've posted so far either happened in 8th grade, math class, or both. disaster.
  
everything ... happened in 8th grade, math class, or both. disaster.

  • This week: parking a lady for twenty minute+ wait for a (singular) baked spaghetti (wait usually 5> min)
  • past sins: Writing that essay for a creative writing contest that didn't make any sense and my grandpa read it
  • writing a long snapchat message that ended with "plz let's never speak of this again" and a peace sign emoji with two sculls to someone I wasn't close with
  • being a heedless prick
  • not being able to spell & leaving notes for my teachers summer of 8th grade
  • singing in middle school / being loud
  • saying "I'm hotter when I look angry" out loud to a mirror in the bathroom and my future class valedictorian was in the stall the mirror was hanging on.
  • having a crush in middle school, poor guy
  • kissing that boy with Aspergers on the lips on the buss in grade school because I was blackmailed by a bully who caught me playing the 'licking game' with him. I see both of them at school now. Do they remember me 0_0
  
Oh no.
  

...caught me playing the 'licking game' with him.

Why am I fluctuating so wildly between wanting to and not wanting to know what this means?
  
what a wild read
  
Hi, it's been six years since I graduated high school, but I still dream about one subject that I really didn't like. I won't say it's my nightmare, but it does take up a large part of my subconscious, although in normal life I don't think about it, only the dream reminds me!
  
jaxxie said:
Be prepared for your soul to be tortured.

this keeps me up at night
  
EricScott said:
Hi, it's been six years since I graduated high school, but I still dream about one subject that I really didn't like. I won't say it's my nightmare, but it does take up a large part of my subconscious, although in normal life I don't think about it, only the dream reminds me!

Those dreams may never go away. I rarely remember my dreams, but when I do high school is one of the topics. I graduated 18 years ago.
  
jaxxie said:
Be prepared for your soul to be tortured.

this keeps me up at night

When did she say that one?
  
Why do we do that? I cant seem to remember good memories as a child. Yet can play a fucking movie in my head with all the dumb shit that I've gone through.

How does some one get passed it?
  
Loud noises.
  
i just

i can't get over how good the emoji movie is

i know everyone hates it and whatever but like

it's a good movie, man

i guess what keeps me up at night is knowing that despite its smash hit success at the box office it may never get a sequel which is a travesty because it was such an enjoyable movie to watch
  
aprzn123 said:
jaxxie said:
Be prepared for your soul to be tortured.

this keeps me up at night

When did she say that one?

it's from an old thread, i forgot which one
  
i just

i can't get over how good the emoji movie is

i know everyone hates it and whatever but like

it's a good movie, man

i guess what keeps me up at night is knowing that despite its smash hit success at the box office it may never get a sequel which is a travesty because it was such an enjoyable movie to watch


Woof
  
What doesn't keep me up at night? I have a gigantic, encyclopedia of shit I've done, fuck ups I've done, relationships I've broken. My whole past is fraught with shame, failure, destruction of myself and those around me, etc.

I used to go to sleep and wake up feeling like the shittiest human being imaginable. Like some people can fuck up, but Jesus Christ my life really takes some cakes.

In the last few years I've lived right and haven't fucked up in a major way beyond once every few weeks maybe saying something accidentally rude like calling someone old who doesn't consider themselves old, but it doesn't keep me up at night.

I can't do anything to change my miserable, horrible, no good past, so instead I'm just working on keeping doing better and not beating myself about it, which is hard.

I still have flashes of shame, misery, and self hatred from what I've done and the life I've lived, but those flashes are smaller, less intense, and start to wear off because I have chosen not to dwell on it.

All I can do is what I can do today, and then tomorrow. I can't change anything about where I've been, but I have chosen to learn from it, do better, and stop repeating the behavior that brings pain and shame to me.

Like I said before, if shame stems from a shameful behavior, quit doing the behavior. I felt intense shame because I ought to feel intense shame because I behaved in a way that was intensely shameful.

The only cure to proper shame that one ought to feel is to do better and start behaving in ways that bring peace and pride and quit doing the things that bring shame and pain.
  
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