Two Cans & String

{ "thread_id": "11932", "posts": [ { "id": "1224297", "time": "1653233881", "html": "If you're having a rough day, read a few jokes and make someone smile!<br />And if you're having a nice one, share a joke.", "user": "yourkarmaiscoming" }, { "id": "1224298", "time": "1653233943", "html": "I might as well start.<br /><br />A husband and his wife were walking in a park when they saw a drunk man dancing.<br />Wife: Honey, look at that drunk man dancing!<br />Husband: Isn't that John?<br />Wife: Yea, John! He proposed to me 10 years ago, and I rejected him.<br />Husband: Ha, look! He's still celebrating.", "user": "yourkarmaiscoming" }, { "id": "1224299", "time": "1653234214", "html": "Guy to his wife: I bet you can\u2019t make me happy and sad at the same time.<br />Wife: Your dick\u2019s bigger than your brother\u2019s.", "user": "antimonypentafluoride" }, { "id": "1224312", "time": "1653246770", "html": "Zing", "user": "corporalcroissandwich" }, { "id": "1224339", "time": "1653260373", "html": "What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?", "user": "titanlord237" }, { "id": "1224341", "time": "1653260601", "html": "An enzyme is a catalyst for chemical reactions and a hormone is a chemical released to signal reactions or processes in your body.", "user": "titanlord237" }, { "id": "1224357", "time": "1653267558", "html": "I heard Fed-Ex and UPS are merging. They're calling it Fed-Up.", "user": "ebag" }, { "id": "1224358", "time": "1653267830", "html": "Shouldn't it be Fed-UPS?", "user": "titanlord237" }, { "id": "1224399", "time": "1653280328", "html": "<div style=\"margin:20px; background-image:url(/images/light.png);\"><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:5px;\"><a href=\"/users/yourkarmaiscoming\">yourkarmaiscoming</a> said:</div><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:20px;\">I might as well start.<br /><br />A husband and his wife were walking in a park when they saw a drunk man dancing.<br />Wife: Honey, look at that drunk man dancing!<br />Husband: Isn't that John?<br />Wife: Yea, John! He proposed to me 10 years ago, and I rejected him.<br />Husband: Ha, look! He's still celebrating.</div></div><br />Ah yes, marriage bad, wife terrible, so funny.", "user": "eriophora" }, { "id": "1224400", "time": "1653281887", "html": "I smiled :DDDDD", "user": "hugzfafad" }, { "id": "1225836", "time": "1654130592", "html": "<div style=\"margin:20px; background-image:url(/images/light.png);\"><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:5px;\"><a href=\"/users/eriophora\">eriophora</a> said:</div><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:20px;\"><div style=\"margin:20px; background-image:url(/images/light.png);\"><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:5px;\"><a href=\"/users/yourkarmaiscoming\">yourkarmaiscoming</a> said:</div><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:20px;\">I might as well start.<br /><br />A husband and his wife were walking in a park when they saw a drunk man dancing.<br />Wife: Honey, look at that drunk man dancing!<br />Husband: Isn't that John?<br />Wife: Yea, John! He proposed to me 10 years ago, and I rejected him.<br />Husband: Ha, look! He's still celebrating.</div></div><br />Ah yes, marriage bad, wife terrible, so funny.</div></div><br /><br />Thank you! :)", "user": "yourkarmaiscoming" }, { "id": "1225837", "time": "1654130610", "html": "<div style=\"margin:20px; background-image:url(/images/light.png);\"><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:5px;\"><a href=\"/users/hugzfafad\">HugzFafad</a> said:</div><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:20px;\">I smiled :DDDDD</div></div><br /><br />Yayyyy! That was the point :D", "user": "yourkarmaiscoming" }, { "id": "1225854", "time": "1654151459", "html": "<div style=\"margin:20px; background-image:url(/images/light.png);\"><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:5px;\"><a href=\"/users/yourkarmaiscoming\">yourkarmaiscoming</a> said:</div><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:20px;\"><div style=\"margin:20px; background-image:url(/images/light.png);\"><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:5px;\"><a href=\"/users/eriophora\">eriophora</a> said:</div><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:20px;\"><br />Ah yes, marriage bad, wife terrible, so funny.</div></div><br /><br />Thank you! :)</div></div><br /><br />To be clear, this was sarcasm, as I find jokes about people not actually liking their partners to be both extremely tired and also pretty steeped in misogyny.", "user": "eriophora" }, { "id": "1226036", "time": "1654350149", "html": "<div style=\"margin:20px; background-image:url(/images/light.png);\"><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:5px;\"><a href=\"/users/eriophora\">eriophora</a> said:</div><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:20px;\"><div style=\"margin:20px; background-image:url(/images/light.png);\"><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:5px;\"><a href=\"/users/yourkarmaiscoming\">yourkarmaiscoming</a> said:</div><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:20px;\"><div style=\"margin:20px; background-image:url(/images/light.png);\"><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:5px;\"><a href=\"/users/eriophora\">eriophora</a> said:</div><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:20px;\"><br />Ah yes, marriage bad, wife terrible, so funny.</div></div><br /><br />Thank you! :)</div></div><br /><br />To be clear, this was sarcasm, as I find jokes about people not actually liking their partners to be both extremely tired and also pretty steeped in misogyny.</div></div><br /><br />It's quite hard to tell sarcasm over text because 1. You can't hear the person's tone of voice, 2. You can't see gestures that apply to this sort of speech (ex. eye rolling, etc.) and 3. There is no symbol that indicates sarcasm (like a specific symbol on the keyboard that represents it).<br />I also understand that my jokes aren't for everyone. I apologize if any of this offended you in any way.<br /><br />I have a few non-partner related jokes that you might like better?<br /><br />A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. She whispers, "They're right behind you!"<br />Why don't koalas count as bears? They don't have the right koalafications.<br />I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.<br />Why does Humpty Dumpty hate autumn? Because he always has a great fall.<br />Some people eat snails. They must not like fast food.<br />What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.", "user": "yourkarmaiscoming" } ], "users": { "yourkarmaiscoming": { "name": "yourkarmaiscoming", "key": "yourkarmaiscoming", "url": "/users/yourkarmaiscoming", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/33851.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "5" }, "antimonypentafluoride": { "name": "antimony pentafluoride", "key": "antimonypentafluoride", "url": "/users/antimonypentafluoride", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/26519.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "4354" }, "corporalcroissandwich": { "name": "Corporal Croissandwich", "key": "corporalcroissandwich", "url": "/users/corporalcroissandwich", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/30324.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "677" }, "titanlord237": { "name": "Titanlord237", "key": "titanlord237", "url": "/users/titanlord237", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/34284.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "9020" }, "ebag": { "name": "e-bag", "key": "ebag", "url": "/users/ebag", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/30674.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "9612" }, "eriophora": { "name": "eriophora", "key": "eriophora", "url": "/users/eriophora", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/28900.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "762" }, "hugzfafad": { "name": "HugzFafad", "key": "hugzfafad", "url": "/users/hugzfafad", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/33914.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "450" } }, "page_num": 1, "locked": 0, "total_pages": 1 }

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