This was one of my favourite threads, but I'm going to open it up a little more.
Post either the stupidest thing that's been said today or the thing that made you laugh the hardest.
4510.03 days ago
Jan 25, 2011 - 11:08 AM
Me: You know Robert?
Classmate 1: Huh?
Me: Yeah, the gothic-punk guy that lived in the apartment downstairs from me.
Classmate 1: No...
Me: Well anyhow, we got twins...
Classmate 2: You what?!
To my defence that is completely taken out of context.
4509.83 days ago
Jan 25, 2011 - 3:56 PM
This conversation happened.
I will not admit who the people involved were.
"I do not know what that means, and I do not want to know."
"What?"
"That ad, for birth control? Just said it was to be used 'after venting pregnancy.' I'm trying to avoid visuals."
"... It said 'At preventing pregnancy.'"
"...oh."
4509.799 days ago
Jan 25, 2011 - 4:41 PM
Said quite loudly in class: "Strangling? I dont do that."
*accidental sex joke* "Well, Natalie's the only one on my head at the moment."
4509.697 days ago
Jan 25, 2011 - 7:08 PM
*customer signs receipt*
Oh shoot! I used my real name! Can you reprint it so I can do it again?
4509.658 days ago
Jan 25, 2011 - 8:04 PM
Lovely. xD
"It's bad when you can feel a guy's pube fro through his pants, but not his penis."
It would have been a lot funnier if the girl wasn't completely right.
4509.641 days ago
Jan 25, 2011 - 8:28 PM
It would also be funnier if he had an afro on his head.
Just saying.
4509.577 days ago
Jan 25, 2011 - 10:01 PM
4509.301 days ago
Jan 26, 2011 - 4:39 AM
That it would have been.
"Heathy! Don't go outside! What if there are zombies? Or dragons? Or zombie dragons?"
4508.831 days ago
Jan 26, 2011 - 3:54 PM
N: "Why do your boobs itch so much lately?"
A: "I don't know! That's like asking a guy why his nuts itch."
N: "Well..."
A: "No, don't go there. I don't wanna hear it."
4508.614 days ago
Jan 26, 2011 - 9:08 PM
"DUDE! Tell her to bathe!"
"That's not nice."
"And you are?"
My friends are such catty bitches. xD
4508.602 days ago
Jan 26, 2011 - 9:24 PM
Careful is my middle name!
4507.74 days ago
Jan 27, 2011 - 6:05 PM
Not the one that made me laugh the most, but my mother exploded with laughter.
I stood in the kitchen making dinner and my dad is vacuum-cleaning.
I: Dad. Please move. You're in my way.
Dad: You move.
I: No! I am the woman here, and I am in the kitchen cooking! So you are the one who is supposed to be moving!
4507.662 days ago
Jan 27, 2011 - 7:59 PM
Win^
My friend was explaining how he hated puns, when my drummer agreed with him, saying, 'No one needs to endure that kind of punishment!' I lost it.
4507.604 days ago
Jan 27, 2011 - 9:21 PM
^Have you seen the price of balloons, these days?
Well, that's inflation for you.
4507.572 days ago
Jan 27, 2011 - 10:09 PM
4507.537 days ago
Jan 27, 2011 - 10:58 PM
^I definitely burst out laughing at that and freaked out my roommate :)
Sitting at dinner with a couple of friends...
"I'm pretty sure that girl has three desserts! Really, three. Come on, have some dignity!"
and then later, at the dessert table...
"Oh my gosh, everything looks so good!...I see why she had three desserts now!"
4507.443 days ago
Jan 28, 2011 - 1:14 AM
"So a chicken and a turnip fall down the hill and after reaching the bottom the turnip turns to the chicken and says "oops!"
XD
I love my friends.
4507.442 days ago
Jan 28, 2011 - 1:16 AM
4507.331 days ago
Jan 28, 2011 - 3:55 AM
Me: "Does that shirt make me look gay in a 'Rocky Horror Picture Show'-kind of way?"
Roommate: "Nah."
Me: "Good."
Roommate: "It does, however, make you look gay in a 'Pink Flamingo'-kind of way"
Me: "Wait wat? O.o"
4505.971 days ago
Jan 29, 2011 - 12:33 PM
^Ha. xD
"Gosh! If sex is the question, I *hope* violence isn't the answer!"
4505.891 days ago
Jan 29, 2011 - 2:28 PM
"If my pen breaks, can I put pizza on it?"
4504.634 days ago
Jan 30, 2011 - 8:39 PM
"Heather has a boyfriend!"
"Yes, she does."
"Wait, what? Really?" [Angerface]
4504.447 days ago
Jan 31, 2011 - 1:07 AM
"Ow!"
"What?!"
"He hit me with his shuttlecock!"
"That's what she said."
4504.394 days ago
Jan 31, 2011 - 2:25 AM
My best friend: "I'm sorry for being vulgar!... my mom made me say that. I didn't mean it."
4504.021 days ago
Jan 31, 2011 - 11:21 AM
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"html": "Said quite loudly in class: "Strangling? I dont do that."<br />\n<br />\n*accidental sex joke* "Well, Natalie's the only one on my head at the moment."",
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"html": "*customer signs receipt*<br />\nOh shoot! I used my real name! Can you reprint it so I can do it again?",
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"html": "Lovely. xD<br />\n<br />\n"It's bad when you can feel a guy's pube fro through his pants, but not his penis."<br />\n<br />\nIt would have been a lot funnier if the girl wasn't completely right.",
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"html": "It would also be funnier if he had an afro on his head.<br />\n<br />\nJust saying.",
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"html": "That it would have been. <br />\n<br />\n"Heathy! Don't go outside! What if there are <span style=\"text-decoration:line-through;\">z</span>ombies? Or dragons? Or <span style=\"text-decoration:line-through;\">z</span>ombie dragons?"",
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"html": "Win^<br />\n<br />\nMy friend was explaining how he hated puns, when my drummer agreed with him, saying, 'No one needs to endure that kind of punishment!' I lost it.",
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"html": "^Have you seen the price of balloons, these days?<br />\nWell, that's inflation for you.",
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"html": "///",
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