ForumGeneral Discussion ► Quote of the Day!
My close friend, talking to Ian: "Want some candy, little boy?" And she drives a pedo van. xD Gave him candy, too, when he got in. xD
  
"Turn the snow into cheeseburgers!"

(Boyfriend was hungry and hates snow)
  
At least there was candy!

This van did not have any candy >:(
  
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"All Christians are stupid, ignorant, close minded fools who blatantly make generalizations"
  
^LMAO

Wait. They didn't *mean* it, right?
  
I love it when people blatantly contradict themselves like that. It makes arguing unnecessary.
  
Talking to myself in mathclass:
What is the derivative of cosxcosxcosxcosx?

When you say cosx in Swedish, it sounds like you're saying cow sex. I got some weird looks from classmates...
  
Never said:
^LMAO

Wait. They didn't *mean* it, right?


Don't really know, it's hard to tell with this dude
  
Ah. Well.

"Jeff. You're JEFF." It only occurred to me later that anyone listening would probably think I was more than a little slow.
  
"Shut up! I will make him love me!"

Talking to my dad about my cat.
  
"I'm gonna kill this WORRRRLLD!" By a dude who had just jumped on another dude. I was lmao so hard.
  
"Adding pun to the end of a sentence doesn't make it a pun"
"I beg to differ. PUN!"
  
In my social psychology class, we were talking about how we associate smells with good or bad memories. This was the teacher's parting line:
"We could talk about flatulence. People usually don't want to, but it certainly could be discussed. Does anyone want to talk about flatulence?"
  
^I would have asked her is she wanted to talk about it.
  
It was actually a guy, but he kind of sounded like he did. Everyone just sort of...left.
  
Rashon: "Here, can you sign this? It's from Mr. Sharp."
Teacher: "Sure, of course. Ha. I love Mr. Sharp."

*he pauses*

"But not like that."
  
Me: "So I'm going to move to Utah with Ammy and her bf and get married."
Mum: "You can't."
Me: "Why not?!"
Mum: "Because you'll just be seen as a lesbian whore, and you're not blonde. All mormons are blondes."
Me: "Fine, then I'll just revamp my pirate scheme."
Mum: "You can't do that either."
Me: "And why not?!"
Mum: "Because you're not Samalian. They'll kill you, after they rape you."
Me: "Well then I'll just be a stripper."
Mum: "No doing drugs."
Me: "Woman! Why are you crushing all of my dreams?!"
Mum: "It's fun."
  
As reaction to a pic of my drag:
"you look like harry potter had a baby with the Weasley twins ... ... and I kinda like it."
I freaking <3 Joe.
  
"Not all high-fives need to be symmetrical."
  
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"Am I stupid? Nah, I just ain't gottalotta sense."
  
"So you saw that guy that had sex with a table, right? He was on Tyra."
  
"We do not lick computer screens in this classroom, Never!"
Mr. Herald. xD
  
At the dinner table today:
Me: Have you ever heard of Emerson, Lake & Palmer?
Mom: Yes, I've heard about them hundreds of times but I don't know a single song with them.
Dad: Yeah, they're quite heavy.
Mom: Yeah, like 150 kg each...
  
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