ForumGeneral Discussion ► Quote of the Day!
"aye, there's the rub"
  • Hamlet :)
  
*eying the boiling teapot*
I can hear you screaming you know.
  
"So, if I do this for you, you'll put out?"
He meant put out his dog. xD Just lovely how he didn't think first.
  
"Oh my god, they're werewolves."
  
///
  
"Is that what I think it is?"
"I dunno, what do you think it is?"
"...I forgot."
  
"Did you just 'that's what she said' my 'that's what she said'?"
  
L:"That's what she said."
"That's what your mom said."
L:"Please don't do that. It weirds me out."
"That's what she said."
L:"That's what your dad said."
"You'd know better than I would. Yeah, I just brought anal sex into this."
  
J: "So, what you said basically is "I'm a post-anorexic rape victim and the color red makes me angry. Also, I like bunnies a lot."
Me: "I...Um. No. I'm not...I. Um. I'm not a victim."

What he said really made me laugh pretty damn hard.
  
"If you're not a virgin you can't be raped."
Fucking idiots.
  
During a discussion about teacher's work.

Classmate: I know what it's like, both my parents are teachers.
I: I also know, my mother was a parent too.
  
Customer: "Wait is that a quarter I handed you or a really big nickle?"
  
"I have not slept.
Between the acting of a dreadful thing
And the first motion, all the interim is
Like a phantasma, or a hideous dream:
The Genius and the mortal instruments
Are then in council; and the state of man,
Like to a little kingdom, suffers then
The nature of an insurrection."

Someone please know where this is from, without looking it up. :P
  
^ Shakespeare FTW (Julius Caesar to be exact)

Bimbette1: Ohemgee, do you think he'll sign my boob?
Bimbette2: God Tracy you're such a whore.
1: So you don't think he will?
2: Just pop it out and tell him to sign around your nip.
1: So he'll sign that?
  
Me: "he's tall and handsome and he's good at doing stuff, and he's smart."
Logan: "Oooooh! Attractive qualities include 'doing stuff'?" (Mockingly)"oh, he's hot. He does stuff."

We were talking about my dad. >.<
  
Me"Are you touching yourself?"
M"Define touching yourself."
Me"Are you rubbing your genitals in pleasurable manner whilst on the phone with me?"
M"... maybe."

And he wonders why I don't like talking to him on the phone.
  
Me: "Oh no, I capsized, what a shame. I guess I can't keep rowing in the ridiculous heat now. Oh man."
Coach: "This is a shark breeding territory, you know..."
Me: "Fuck."
  
"If you do not tell me, I will sit on you. And rub honey on your face."
  
This one REALLY made me laugh:

Me: "How's my baby?"
Kennedy: "I'm good."
Me: "I meant my guitar."
  
Brent: "I drive the black van with the white "FREE CANDY" on the side."
Me: "So you're the child molester?"
Brent: "No, I drive for him. He can't molest children and drive at the same time."
  
This was a year ago, but yet still hilarious to me.

While in class discussing advertisement:

Guy 1: "The Whopper has 100% more beef than the McChicken."
Guy 2: Oh really? Did you measure that?
Guy 1: ....CHICKEN IS NOT BEEF!
Guy 2: ....Oh....
  
D: The safe has so many sharp things in it, almost like teeth. It's not safe!
(I start laughing my ass off)
D:...Oh! Oh, wow.

I love accidental puns :)
  
"Rawr, Aaron Rodgers. Please. They're just in love with him."

I love my Jessekins.
  
"Your rhyme is loose at best."

"Your mom is loose at best."
  
M: "Want a hug?"
J: "I'll settle for watching Aaron Rodgers get smashed like a bug."
M: "That rhymed. Didn't wanna hug you anyhow."
  
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