ForumGeneral Discussion ► Self help?
This may sound ridiculous, but I dislike myself. I'm jelous and generally not a nice person. I make myself sound better by bringing down others. I know that I have sociopathic tendencies, I struggle to empathise or think about others. I am, on the surface, charming. I want to change, my personality is affecting my relationship and I'm sick of being this way. Does anyone have any experience of this or any ideas?

Thank you xxx
Hi prinbink! Thank you for sharing about yourself, I like your intention to change in the way you want to change.

It looks like a big challenge you chose to change is your tendency to bring down others. Congratulations on your decision to change this!

As you know, I am not qualified or certified in any way to provide mental or emotional health advice and my first recommendation would be to search out a therapist and schedule weekly sessions with someone who is there for you personally on a one on one basis who can sympathize with you and lend you personalized support.

If you want to get the ball rolling right away, one thing you can do that you've probably started doing already and I would encourage your decision to continue this is acts of appreciation. Notice things you sincerely, truly, like about someone and say it out loud to them, no matter how small or large. For example, "I appreciate your smile." but only say things you really mean, for instance if you didn't like someone's smile then look around them for something else you appreciate.

This will begin to form new habits of seeing the good in people and overtime you will find yourself changing in the way you desire coming closer to and closer each day and caring more and more about people. By actively exercising and strengthening your awareness of what you appreciate about people you may begin to notice a sharp decrease of criticisms. If you want to really step up to the plate and hurdle headlong into your process, perhaps even practice not saying some of the criticisms that pop up in your mind.

If you really want to go big or go home, also notice and say aloud to yourself things you appreciate about yourself, and pick sincere things! By choosing to give yourself self worth, you may be less motivated to cut others down.

What works for me may not work for you and if you find a technique or method that works for you I'd think that you are right to continue it and make a habit out of it!

Best of luck to you.
Pheo's right; start with changing your self-talk. It's easy to use that to practice speaking well about others.
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