ForumGeneral Discussion ► Your Train of Thoughts
there are many instances of people incorrectly assuming i'm a girl. it's amazing how often this occurs. you'd think that it'd be 50/50 split.
  
kadaevr said:
there are many instances of people incorrectly assuming i'm a girl. it's amazing how often this occurs. you'd think that it'd be 50/50 split.

I wouldn't. What gender people assume you are depends mostly on how friendly and confident you are, honestly. It's fucking irritating.
  
@waterpheonix: Yeah. Same. I credit Ecclesiastes with keeping me from killing myself when I was 18. We had very different things being taught to us when we were younger I think. For example, outside of church that is, I was often told/reminded things like “It’s not literal. It’s not true things that happened in history. There may not even have been a real Jesus. It was 100% written by a lot of different people.” and it made more sense to me that way than what I’d hear the pastors saying at churches. So that kept me from going through the “why would god command X” thing. Things like that part in Joshua I always just make some symbolic interpretation. Whether or not you could even call it Christianity at that point, I’m not sure. I don’t really care either. The biggest thing for me was “what is god” and “I’m a shitty person even from a secular pov” and mainly “practically everyone I know who believes in this is a self righteous asshole”. It’s taken me a long time to become even kind of satisfied with a way of thinking about what god is and where I’m at is honestly very trippy, and things like that make life more fun (at times terrifying) for me because it’s not like I can just trip whenever I want. I dunno. I probably don’t need to tell you that I respect your beliefs. At least I hope you know that. Hell, someone I know is apparently interested in neopaganism and I’m currently trying to find some free books on pdf and some websites for them on different systems/customs. I will bite though and say seeing things like what you posted is kind of painful in a way but not for what you’d think. Instead it because it reminds me of bad experiences with the same kinda of people I try really hard to distance myself from. On hell: fuck it, I don’t care even if it’s real in the first place because if it is then there’s always some chance you or or anyone could go there so seems pointless fretting over it. Basically I don’t care what you believe as long as where you’re at is good for you and you definitely seem way better off not being a Christian from what all you’ve said. You wanna know something great though, man? Catapress. It’s great. It’ll make you go to sleep whenever you want. It’ll make you chill out. It can help suppress pain. It can reduce cravings for and withdrawal symptoms from a number of addictive drugs. It even can help you concentrate. If nothing else it’ll lower your blood pressure. Praise Catapres. I sincerely wish there were books about Catapres.
  
“It’s not literal. It’s not true things that happened in history. There may not even have been a real Jesus. It was 100% written by a lot of different people.”

Yeah, this mindset would've been more beneficial as a kid, could have saved a lot of problems if I had that angle.

What is Catapres?
  
A very good non-benzodiazepine, atypical CNS depressant that originally was just meant for high blood pressure that doctors found out helped with insomnia that they later found out helped with some symptoms of adhd in children that they later found out helped with some symptoms of withdrawals from some drugs (mainly alcohol, benzos, opioids, nicotine) that they later found out helped with some symptoms of chronic pain. Best thing? Works just through agonizing (nor)epinephrine receptors. Doesn’t have to fuck around with the opioid or GABA systems at all. There’s a couple children who use the pharmacy I work at and they take it and they seem perfectly normal. I started taking it for chronic insomnia and to alleviate night time nicotine withdrawal and dude, I am amazed. The only negative thing I’ve noticed so far is that even before I started taking it, I had a pretty low resting blood pressure and heart rate and they’ve reduced some but not significantly. Ask your doctor about it if you suffer from any of the mentioned.
  
I've gotten back into reading lately. I used to be crazy about books in middle school. I sort of fell out of the habit around eigth grade, reading only maybe 2 or 3 books a year. I'm getting back into it though, and I'm rediscovering what an enriching and rewarding activity reading some awesome books can be. (And fanfiction on the side, too.)
  
reading is amazing
  
I guess the stress of moving, on top of middle school being a 5h1t5h0w in general, (and the school library having a crazy catalog of manga) were all catalysts.

I did read that wallflower book last year on the recommendation of my english teacher. I think it was my favorite book that I read in ninth grade.

Edit: my opinion on the book: an emotional rollercoaster

Edit 2: i used to really dislike nonfiction, too. i'm enjoying it a lot more. (i must be becoming more mature!

...nah probably not)
  
my favorite book i've read recently is The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. I'm so happy I got it too because it was the last copy at barnes & noble and there were literally 137 holds on it at the library. it was really interesting and really made me look at life differently. Toward the end was sad and it made me cry, but the way it ended left me feeling good rather than shitty, which I really appreciated. Definitely recommend. I'd let you borrow my copy but obviously that's not an option...
  
kadaevr said:
I've gotten back into reading lately. I used to be crazy about books in middle school. I sort of fell out of the habit around eigth grade, reading only maybe 2 or 3 books a year. I'm getting back into it though, and I'm rediscovering what an enriching and rewarding activity reading some awesome books can be. (And fanfiction on the side, too.)


Oooh. Whatcha reading? I read quite a lot. I just finished up Composite Creatures by Caroline Hardaker, which I adored. It's very melancholy and explores themes of isolation and self-destructive self preservation.

I'm also doing a reread of the Cradle series by Will Wight, which is the exact opposite of Composite Creatures, lol. Cradle is pure popcorn action and fun.

I'm also trying to finish up the Spiritwalker trilogy by Kate Elliot, which I've ended up liking way more than I expected! It's very good.
  
kind of embarrassing, but i asked my mom to get that one sean covey book for me. it arrived yesterday and i've been enjoying it so far.
  
Kyljoy’s “story” is interesting. Did Blake actually announce something?
  
dont think so
  
Today was opening night for my play :D
  
the names of the tracks in everywhere, an empty bliss are a jumbled salad of words
  
I am pissed at spotify rn. They screwed up stuff for all artists, litterally 2 days after i got my artist account.
  
My two older sons are watching "try not to cry" videos on YouTube. They are bawling right now. They have used half a roll of toilet paper. It's cute, but the pandemic got these kids bored. I need to think of something fun to do
  
Show them the wonders of TwoCans! They'll be scared for life, sure, but think of all the relatable things you can discuss at dinner!
  
BAHAHAHAHA!!!
  
e-bag said:
Show them the wonders of TwoCans! They'll be scared for life, sure, but think of all the relatable things you can discuss at dinner!




Kwa kwa kwaa...
  
My boys know what TwoCans is but they don't really have much of an interest, unfortunately.

Side note: I had a nightmare that I had fell asleep. When I awoke I had to pee. After I did my business I washed my hands. When I looked in the mirror I noticed that the side of my beast looked like something was hanging out of it. Just barely visible. I tugged at it and to my horror an old rotten banana peel came out. I kept pulling and more and more trash came out. Apparently while I was asleep someone stuffed my breast full of trash and old banana peels. What the hell brain? You really did a number on me
  
Today was opening night for my play :D


Dunno how a play in this day and age is gonna go but break a leg

Oh it was yesterday hope your leg broke
  
I don't know why, but the fact that there are moms on this site makes me happy
  
Woah. There are things in my gallery that I didn't put there.
  
can you show me some of them? i wanna see
  
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