ForumRelationships and Stuff ► The Transgender experience
I'm not trans but my sister (who was once my brother) is. I'd like to get some perspective on the trans experience as a whole so that I can be a more supportive sister.
  
Be more specific, if you don't mind terribly. Some of us have shared our own experiences in another thread, but I am sure you could convince one or two of us to share more if you have specific questions about our experiences.
  
well personally I would like to hear more about the earlier parts of your experience especially your transition.
  
The best part of being trans is gender euphoria.

I'm having a hard time deciding, whether the worst part is gender dysphoria or bigoted people. Probably depends on your own experiences.
  
Fwip said:
The best part of being trans is gender euphoria.

I'm having a hard time deciding, whether the worst part is gender dysphoria or bigoted people. Probably depends on your own experiences.


I don't know if this is off-topic to the thread, but could you elaborate on gender euphoria? What's that like?
  
So dysphoria is basically just Greek for "bad feels" - euphoria is "good feels." You might know that already, I just think it's funny what a literal translation it is.

Gender euphoria is the happiness I get when my gender is validated, often in unexpected ways. When I was early in transition, something as simple as looking cute in girl jeans would put happy butterflies in my stomach. The first time a stranger called me "Miss" sent my heart soaring. My girlfriend got me flowers and I literally cried with happiness - I hadn't even realized that that was an option for me. (Related: the day I realized I'd be getting married in a dress.)

Nowadays it's not quite as dramatic, but there's still times where I'm struck by how nice it is that I'm a woman. Sometimes it's noticing I'm cute in the mirror, other times it's just while having girl-chat with my coworkers. My friend describing me as maternal, or my mom talking to me in a way she never did before (and recognizing even more similarities between us), just... Reaffirms that I'm really me. I did it, y'know? It's just a feeling of... "rightness" that I don't know how to explain, but it's the opposite of the wrongness that is dysphoria, not just its absence.

Plus, now I can be like, "hehehe i have boobs."
  
Ok, that makes sense, thanks. It can be confusing at times.
  
Gosh dang Fwip always voicing my exact feelings with regard to life as a transgender woman.

I will divide my experience sharing into two pieces. The first one will be most easily communicated via a few posts that I wrote on my Facebook (there are three separate links here). If the posts are not public, let me know. The idea is that being transgender without treatment is super duper uncomfy, or it was for me, but treatment has REALLY helped with that.

Now, the second part is about what Fwip mentioned: euphoria. On a regular basis these days, I catch myself getting excited about really silly things. Like, I had trouble taking off my hoodie the other day because my boobs got in the way. Instead of being frustrated, I was really quite pleased with it. There are lots of little things like that. And it never ceases to amaze me how happy I can get about good things, bad things, and neutral things that are primarily feminine experiences. Even little bitty things.

Now, returning to the first chunk just briefly. Dysphoria sucks. It sucks BIG. I highly recommend discussing what things typically trigger dysphoria in your sis. It is much easier to avoid things you know can cause problems.
  
I felt I'd better move this, seems like you want some good advice rather than an argument.
  
Maybe you can ask your sister about her experience? Everyone is different.

She's probably been walking around with this knowledge for a while before coming out, I'm sure it'll be a relief to finally talk about it and share her feelings with you.
  

Once, I left a contact lens in for too long and started to get some sort of injury on the inside of my eyelid. I don't know what exactly was going on, but having the lens in was painful and, because it was in such an inaccessible spot, unbearable. I took my contacts out and the relief was unbelievably immediate and complete.
  
Oh gosh! That would suck. I don't have experience with contacts, but this is exactly the sort of thing that I was trying to use as an example to communicate the idea!
  
dysphoria's def worse than the bigots. not that the bigots aren't a factor in the former, necessarily, but the dysphoria's been ruled as the main cause of m to f trans suicides for the last four decades in the literature for a reason.
  
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