ForumRelationships and Stuff ► HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Note: I'm not trying to be sexist or anything, but I'd prefer it if more girls would help me with this since they usually provide better input and advice, but if guys have advice too, any and all advice you can give is welcome!

If you somehow read this entire thing I apologize in advance. I'll tell you the short version: I'm going on vacay with a girl I'm really close with and want to make it into a relationship. Read below for (way) more details if you're up for it.

So my parents just made plans to go to Hawaii this summer, and I found out that one of my close friends and her family is going with us. I don't particularly have a crush on her right now, but we used to like each other when we were in elementary. Like, a lot. And everyone in the world knew it. Anyways, that's just a bit of background info. So our families are part of a large friend group and we all went out to dinner a couple weeks ago. At dinner she steals my phone and makes me unlock it because, well, she's a girl and I'm a guy. While she had my phone I kept turning it off after unlocking it, and she'd say "Heeeeyyy....." and get all indignant, which I though was really cute but does that mean anything? I don't think she's emotionally vulnerable because she's pretty comfortable socially. Anyways she proceeds to post a few pictures on my snapchat story, including a selfie of us together. You can probably imagine how my guy friends were responding to my story. What makes it even better is that we're both asian and that we look really cute together, this including the fact that we used to like each other. What I'm trying to say is that we'd make an amazing couple together, and that we're going on vacation. She even plays basketball too(sadly doesn't enjoy videogames as much as I would like, but that's fine when you consider everything else!). So yeah she stole my phone and put us on my story. I think it was a really cute moment, even my mom said "nothing has changed." And we're going on vacation together this summer, and I'm wondering if things between us are going to escalate. I'd like to be in a relationship status, but I'm wondering if she still has feelings for me, because when we're together/hanging out (which isn't very often rip) we do things like a couple would. Like watch videos and stuff lying next to each other, and stuff like when she stole my phone, that kind of thing. But like I said I don't know if she still has feelings for me, and I wouldn't be opposed to a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with her. I even have a bookmark she made for me in like 3rd grade when we liked each other, and I wanted to show her that I kept it and saved it. But what I'm afraid of is if things get weird and it doesn't work out, I don't want to break/weaken a bond as strong as the one we share.

Oh yeah, and we're probably going to this fancy restaurant together too, so Idk if she might see that as like a "date" or something because us kids (there are about 4 or 5 of us I think) will probably have our own table, or at least our own end of the table.

One of my friends used to make fun of me saying stuff like "she still loves you" but I don't know if there was a touch of seriousness when he said it, like Idk if he was just making fun of me or if he was actually shooting hints, but that was like in middle school/earlier years of high school. Nowadays I rarely see him and he doesn't really tell me that anymore.

And I just feel like asking her out in the traditional way would be kinda weird because we're so close, but maybe that's just me. Do you think it's weird or am I just being weird? Also we aren't going on vacation until mid June which is just under a month away, so I have a long time to wait. Won't be a terrible wait though, I'm gonna start working out again and try to get my muscles toned up (I'd say I already have a pretty fit physique but just need to get that extra muscle definition) so it makes for a better impression because, like I said (or maybe I didn't, a lot of people have answered to this lol), we don't spend too much time together and I dress in a pretty modest fashion which hides a lot of my muscle so maybe she'd be impressed when I take off my shirt or something. Idk, maybe that's tmi but whatevs.

So what do you think? Again, sorry for the really, REALLY long story. What I'm asking here is:
1) Do you think she likes me?
2) Can you help me read into what she's doing and what it means, if it even means anything at all? (Not trying to be sexist here, but this question is more geared towards girls)
3) I just feel like asking her out in the traditional way would be kinda weird because we're so close, but maybe that's just me. Do you think it's weird or am I just being weird? (not really as important)
  
  • All good relationships start as close friendships
  • Don't rush anything
  • Don't propose to her at the beginning of vacation (too early)
  • Just enjoy spending time with her, try to stop "reading" things
  • Most jokes hold a sliver of truth in them
  
-All good relationships start as close friendships
  • Don't rush anything
  • Don't propose to her at the beginning of vacation (too early)
  • Just enjoy spending time with her, try to stop "reading" things
  • Most jokes hold a sliver of truth in them


Thanks so much for your input! :D

I don't know how I can find out if she still likes me though after all this time. I don't know if she still liked me the entire time all those years but I highly doubt it since we didn't see each other very often. But now we're starting to see each other more and more (in social settings, not just the two of us) and I don't know what to do.

What do you mean by "Most jokes hold a sliver of truth in them"? She doesn't usually flirt by making jokes, she'll just steal my stuff (phone) and I'll make the jokes and do stuff like turn off my phone after unlocking it for her.
  
Hard to say if she's making long-term plans around you but she's definitely looking forward to that vacation.
  
Huge update (sorry it's been a while):

Her family changed vacation plans, she's going to see her family in the Philippines instead. So I texted her the other day right before she flew out:

Me: Hey. Have fun in the Philippines! Gonna miss u, so be safe! <3
Her: Ty!! Contact me on snap and insta (purple <3)

I don't know why she put a purple heart, is there some sort of meaning to it? Or is it just an emoji? I don't know.

Rewind to a week or two before this:

So she was trying to come up with a nickname on my phone and asked me for an idea. So I said "I don't know, just put something." And so she did. Then I said "That's not what I meant, put something else." And now my nickname on her Snapchat is "Something else". [Looking back, I should've put 'Daddy' as my nickname in her snap - that would've been hella flirty!!! I'm so mad at myself for not thinking of it earlier!!!]

So a few days ago (the morning after she saved me as "Something else") she sends me a snap, just a normal selfie, that says "gm something else" right so I snap her back. We start texting, and there's a lot of friendly banter. For example, she left me on read on snapchat for a few minutes, and I called her out on it -
Her: [snap] gm something else
Me: Did u win ur game? (she had a basketball game that morning)
Her: No smh
Me: Aw rip. It's ok at least u don't have a screwed up pinky
Her: Ouchhhhh
Me: Yeah it was all bent out of shape lmao
Her: Howw
Me: [explains how I jammed my pinky]
Her: (no response, leaves me on read)
Me: Wow u left me on read? I thought we were friends (jokingly)
Her: No were not friends ew
Me: You missed the apostrophe. So we WERE not friends but now we are? :D
Her: No. Never.
Me: Awww :(
Her: Wyd rn
Me: Why do you care we aren't friends [lol emoji]
Her: BOI ILL FIGHT U

So this continues for a bit, and somewhere along the line she says "Y rnt we j texting lol" (like SMS texting) and the banter continues. So we flip over to texting and we text throughout the day, but it slowly gets more and more dry. So now it's come to the point where she's left me on read a few times now with no response. I don't know what to do and I have no idea why she's doing this. I haven't seen her since but I plan on calling her within these next few days to see if we can hang out or something before we both leave on vacation.

One of my friends hung out with her the other day before she left (it's all platonic, we're all really tight with each other), and he told me that she mentioned me and that I wanted to hang out. In short, I have to wait until she comes back from her month-long vacation to hang out with her and tell her how I feel and all that.)

Thanks for reading :)
  
If you come back from vacation happy to see your good friend again, great. If you spend all vacation distracted from being in frickin' Hawaii by thinking about a girl then you're crushing and you should not trust yourself to act rationally. I mean literally assume your reasons for reaching decisions are busted, and seek advice from friends or family or Internet strangers.

I still think she likes you, but don't take it for granted.
  
gws said:
If you come back from vacation happy to see your good friend again, great. If you spend all vacation distracted from being in frickin' Hawaii by thinking about a girl then you're crushing and you should not trust yourself to act rationally. I mean literally assume your reasons for reaching decisions are busted, and seek advice from friends or family or Internet strangers.

I still think she likes you, but don't take it for granted.


I think about her a lot, but it's not like I spend every waking moment thinking about her. I have my own separate life too and a lot of it doesn't really include her. So I make the most of every time I see her and that's about it. Right now I'm sad that plans changed, but I'll probably forget about it once I leave for my vacation, and I'll be happy to see her again when she comes back.

Keep in mind she is my best and closest friend, so it's not like I can just blow anything off - everything that happens between us is important.

Thanks for your help though :)
  
Thx for the update!
Idk about other ppl but when I use 💜 or 💙 it's Platonic and when I use ❤ its love (often reserved for fam)
She may be over-thinking what she texts to you. In this case, she worried about coming on too strong and used the platonic heart to make things less weird.
She also may very well want you to understand that she likes being friends with you and is hoping you know she doesn't want a relationship. As you said, In this case *DO NOT* "blow it off" and break all contact with her when she tells you she isn't interested in repeating what already happened, or you will come off as a major dush bag (and completely ruin a good friendship)
[Or she could just like the purple heart emoji. Explination above is def. "reading" so don't put to much weight on it]
  
Re: purple emoji heart

Sometimes I'll put in an emoji by typing the name in my normal phone keyboard. When I type heart sometimes it only prompts for non red heart colors and I'm lazy.

You can't read too much into this kind of thing.
  
Update: she came back awhile ago
When I asked her how her vacation was, the first thing she said to me (save for the word "fun") was "we should hang out" which can't be bad can it?
we talked last night and it seems like next Wednesday is a good day to hang out
  
“We should hang out” is definitely a good thing if you want to hang out. If you don’t want to hang out, I’m not sure why you want a relationship.
  
I asked her to hang out before she left but she was too busy so we didn't get to. Now that she's back, there's lots of time for us to spend together! :)

I just need to solidify plans...

EDIT: She wasn't free :/
  
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