ForumRelationships and Stuff ► Worries About Your Single Parent
Hey Liv, sorry you're struggling with a challenging parent dynamic right now. I'm curious to know a little more about the situation.

"She knows this but she won't listen to me."

I'm curious more specifically what she knows and what you told her that she doesn't listen to.

From what I did read it sounds like she tries to over step your boundaries in ways that you as an adult do not need sort of treating you like a child, and ironically it also sounded like you are taking care of her similar to how a parent would look after a child as well except that she's the mother and you're the daughter.

Just those two things taken alone could look like possible codependency issues. If they are they need to be addressed for sure if not by your mom then certainly by you or they could rear their ugly heads and negatively affect your friendships and relationships. Choosing independence for yourself could be positive for both of you if that is the direction you were leaning toward heading to.

I could also just be projecting myself onto you because I specifically have struggled for years with the negative impacts of a codependent relationship with my mom and it did negatively affect me so I'm aware this might be useless "insight" and the issues you're facing could be something else entirely. So if I'm seeing ghosts where there are none please don't take offense and feel free to disregard anything I'm saying if its not resonating with your situation in particular.

Just in case it was codependency related I figured I'd add my two cents.
Thanks for the kind words and I appreciate you checking in with the codependency bit. I meant that she knows I worry about her doing too much and getting herself hurt.

Having just read up on codependency, I don't think it's quite what I'm experiencing. It's not as intense and all encompassing as proper codependency sounds. It's more like she is a control freak and can't let go enough to let me do things on my own and to admit when she can't/shouldn't do something herself. She's not controlling in a cruel or oppressive way, just that she refuses to ask for help.

Idk I just need to move out I think. I'm also just frustrated this emotional labour (for lack of a better term) has fallen to me because I'm the girl/youngest when my older siblings could skip out no problem.
Well, happy to hear its not codependency! Whatever it is sounds like it would be nice to take a break from it and move out though so I hope you find a way to do that.
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