ForumRelationships and Stuff ► what counts as a date?
I'm 99% sure my friend's platonic prom date (let's call him James) just asked me on a date. Prom already happened this past Saturday, but we've been texting constantly since then. We were talking about Coldstone and how he's never had my favorite flavor (cake batter), then about our local Mexican restaurant and how I should try the burrito he usually gets since I always get the same meal. I said that i would try the burrito if he tried the ice cream and he said it was a deal. However, the only condition was that he had to be there to see my reaction, and then he suggested that we go to Coldstone after as well even though the closest location is 30 minutes away. So is it a date? Does he have to expliitly call it a date for it to be one? Do guys ask girls they basically just met to go eat lunch/dinner and ice cream platonically?? I haven't talked to him much before prom, but he seems really sweet and I would definitely be open to knowing him better :) Our current plan is to go right after school on Thursday so I have plenty of time to mentally prepare, but I'm not sure if I should think into it a little or just think of it as two pals hangin' out.
  
Only way to find out is to ask. Really. It sounds like something I would do platonically but I could see it swing the other way.

Just ask 'Hey, just to clarify, is this a date?' and then accept whatever his response is.
  
I've thought about asking, I'm just scared the answer is no and then it's awkward...
  
Your prom also happened this weekend incognito girl
  
I say don't over think it and just let it run its course. RN you guys are just hanging out! Have fun enjoy your time. Maybe while you guys are talking, he’ll ask you out on an official date🤞💙
  
Here is a dating superpower: it isn't awkward unless you make it awkward. Smile and say 'alright' and move on to another topic before either of you can start double-guessing. If he gets flustered tell him it's okay, you just wanted to be sure where you stood and move the conversation along.
If he says no, accept the outing as a fun time to be had with your friend and nothing more. Still sounds like an enjoyable experience, better than just sitting at home. Ice cream and burritos.

It's better to have good communication, have things out in the open so everyone knows the boundaries and what the other person expects. It's torture sometimes to be sitting in that situation, not sure and doubting yourself. You can even ask him ahead of time via text if you're too nervous to bring it up in person.

Edit: I'd also say let it ride, don't worry about it and it'll probably work out, but then occasionally you get those situations where one party thinks they're in a relationship while the other doesn't. People aren't always the best at communicating their intentions.
  
It's a date if both parties think it's a date. Otherwise, it's not.
  
I do go on lunch meetups and stuff with my platonic guy friends, but I usually don't hype it up with a bunch of flirting before hand.

A platonic lunch date for me is usually like, "Hey, wanna go to here and eat? Yeah? Cool, see you there."

All this stuff about making sure to go together, in person, see your reaction, etc. implies to me that he is flirting and would be open to something romantic between you two.

To put him in the best possible light, maybe he didn't suggest it as a date because he didn't want to scare you off. Maybe he's totally cool with platonic friendship too, if you weren't into him, which would be consistent with his going on a platonic prom date with someone.

He probably had unrequited chemistry with his prom date, but was totally cool with just having a friend as well, I would guess.

He could see this as a win win where he's fine with either outcome.
  
All this stuff about making sure to go together, in person, see your reaction, etc. implies to me that he is flirting and would be open to something romantic between you two.

To put him in the best possible light, maybe he didn't suggest it as a date because he didn't want to scare you off. Maybe he's totally cool with platonic friendship too, if you weren't into him, which would be consistent with his going on a platonic prom date with someone.

Apparently James talked to my friend about it and basically said something along the lines of this, so it's kind of like a date (ish). Thank you so much everyone, your input means a lot! I'll let you know how it goes :D
  
Sundog's not here so I'll fill in for him.

Grab dat booty.
  
Today is the day B)
  
Eyes on the booty.
  
Unfortunately for you (and sundog I suppose) I did not grab the booty, but I did have an amazing time! He picked me up at my house and knocked on my door to come inside before taking us to the mexican place, which seemed very date-esque to me (as literally none of my friends do that if we're just hanging out). Anyway, we went to eat mexican and i got to show off my spanish-speaking skills since i know all the waiters (hell yeah) and he insisted to pay for me which was really nice of him. We eventually made it to coldstone and ate our ice cream on a nice little bench (i payed for it just to even it out). he also went out of his way to open the door for me every single time, which one of the times involved him very comedically getting hit by the door. overall it was great, and i think he had as much fun as i did! He let me wear his spare pair of sunglasses since it was bright out and we sang Super Bass in the car (more like i just rapped it) so that was definitely a highlight. The only downside is that my mom took my phone away because my room wasn't clean, and I hadn't responded to his text yet so that sucks. my room is clean now so hopefully i get it back tomorrow, i would hate for him to think that i'm ignoring him.

side note: he probably isn't but i really home james isn't on this website, because if so i've explained this in enough detail that he would for sure know it's me, and i wouldn't want him to read all this. if he is hopefully he's more of an answer hermit...
even so, at the end of the day i'm the one who posted this on the internet so i'll deal with whatever consequences.
  
Now that we already went, is it my turn to ask him to do something? I would love to hang out again, but my friend said that the hall is now in my court and I don’t know what I should invite him to do. I was thinking I could get my friend group to do something since he’s friends with them too and invite him to come along, but I also want to do something just the two of us. Thoughts? Sorry for so many questions, I just think the good people of this site give nice advice since there are users from all walks of life.
  
OH EM GEE. COUPLE IN THE MAKING!
you should get ur friend group together but go to a place with like exploration and lotsss of space so u guys can detach
i did a double date once at an aquarium and my boyfriend (at the time, not anymore unfortunately) gave me a kiss by the seals :-)
  
The seals watching you:



In all seriousness, do something that you both like, weather that be going out, or just staying home and gaming or something.
  
e-bag said:
The seals watching you:

Insert Navy SEAL copypasta here.
  
I’m still waiting
  
Be the change you want to see in the world
  
still waiting for what
  
I assumed for the copypasta
  
makes sense
  
thanks to everyone for your suggestions, me and james are now going to eat lunch on saturday with a couple of our friends :) hopefully it'll be a good time!
  
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