ForumRelationships and Stuff ► Involuntary celibacy
So, being a male at 32 years of age, due to low self esteem, social anxiety, etc., I find to be stuck in a situation of involuntary celibacy. How am I to get past this limitation?
What is it that you're looking for?
Presumably sexual relations and/or marriage, depending on the definition of celibacy he's using.
I'm looking for someone to save me from my misery.
Give up. Nobody is going to save you. You save you.
Give up. Nobody is going to save you. You save you.
That's what Buddha said: "I have shown you the path, but it is up to you to walk it", or something like that. That is so harsh.
Find somebody on an online dating site?
It is reality. Accept it.
How do you know?
I'm very smart, and I have known many people who waited around to be saved. They never were. That's not how life is.
Do you know how I can save myself?
You're having truth spoken at you. This is something you have to take into your own hands.
Let me ask you something: How would you describe your "best" outfit?
Let me ask you, how easy are hookers to obtain?
How easily can you dig up graves?
Qwaz said:

Let me ask you something: How would you describe your "best" outfit?

What does that mean? Do you mean clothing?
Let me ask you, how easy are hookers to obtain?
How easily can you dig up graves?

Buying sexual services is prohibited by law here in Norway.
As for digging up graves, I don't know what you mean.
Qwaz is asking about how you look - how approachable you are.

SporeInsanity is joking about ending your 'involuntary celibacy' through prostitutes or necrophilia. If in doubt, take it as a joke.
I'd say take it seriously and give it a shot >:3
Shut up, Spore. Jibas, people are not with you because you do not like yourself. Fix that.
Ju got it. What's your favorite thing to wear out in public?

Or, you know, Craigslist.


Srsly, the internet is your friend for social anxiety-driven sexcapades.
There are tons of people out there who like needy broken people and spend their whole lives trying to fix them. I'm sure you'll bump into one sooner or later.
When people say there's someone for everyone, it's scary how true it is.
To expound on Antagonist's 'fix that' ... things that help low self-esteem would include accomplishing little things and appreciating the fact that you did it, even if it's just doing the household chores faster than normal, listening to music like swing music or just something with a faster beat and cheerful lyrics could help, breaking up the daily routine to do something different and taking long walks in the fresh air (seriously - I always feel better about myself after a long two-hour walk). The one thing that really stopped me feeling anxious and nervous about talking to other people was stopping and thinking about the fact that when I talked with other people, I didn't judge them if they acted a bit shyly or said something odd, so why should I expect others to do so for me? And smiling. Seriously, if I feel awkward, smiling is the go-to response which means I don't have to speak until I've sorted stuff out up in my head.

I hope that helps - different things work for different people. Like you said earlier, the most other people can do is suggest paths for you to take, you're the one who has to take them. That's not harsh in the slightest, I don't see any other alternative other than patronisation and dependence.
Are you kidding? I've been looking through your responses and all you have for people are depressed words and "ho hum, woe is me" statements.

Life does not get better by just sitting around. You have self esteem issues? So does every single human being with enough brain power to have self esteem. The only thing you can do is try. Try. Try. Try some more. If that doesn't work, then try again. If that doesn't work? Well you can always try. If, ultimately, all that trying does not work, then you can... Try.

Seriously. That's all it takes. Trying. If you try and fail, well hey, at least you tried right? It's not like trying will make you spontaneously explode. You might fail sometimes, but you'll notice small victories. Let's say I walk up to someone and ask them out on a date. If they say no, then I try to learn from the experience. Learning is improvement. Improvement is small success. Success is better than loss. You always lose when you don't actually try.
Sounds to me like you have some serious social anxiety(obviously as you stated that). See a therapist. If that's not an option, go out, go to places you rarely go and attempt conversation there. (That way if it's a disaster you can avoid the place until you feel comfortable again.) I always thought that people automatically didn't want to talk to me until I started spouting random conversation starters. You don't have to go up to people you find attractive, just go up to people in general. If a person doesn't respond, talk to someone else. At least then you will be used to interaction.

This isn't a magical cure-all, but it's a start.
Forum > Relationships and Stuff > Involuntary celibacy