ForumStatus Update Threads ► Emotional Support Group
For those who are currently struggling with their lives right now. Financially, mentally, physically; this is a place where you can vent or talk about what it is causing you trouble. It could be anything. (Also a good place to spam your frustrations. A nice way to blow off some steam if you are having a rough time or a bad day.)
  
I have so much useless crap bugging me where do I even begin
  
the beginning
  
Man, I hate it when I'll go an entire day and just not want to be around people. There are friends who rely on me to vent and who just want to be friendly but I read their messages and I feel so drained and I don't want to talk at all, so I either don't reply or just tell them now's not a good time. The only exception these days is my boyfriend. I always try to respond to his texts, because he's the one person I can always count on to be comfortable around.
  
1 year ago today, my best friend's girlfriend died in his arms. He is really struggling, he has been diagnosed with PTSD and Schizophrenia. Sometimes I will say something, and it will take him back to her last minutes. He will get really quiet and not want to talk. Sometimes I wonder if there is something I could do to help. He already has got counseling, and he says he is fine, but I'm not sure.

He isn't showing any signs of wanting to commit suicide, which is good, but he is really depressed right now.
  
I just miss being an innocent little kid. I miss playing pretend with a friend. I miss having the hour-long bus ride to and from school, talking, listening to the radio, or taking a nap. I miss my grandparents cabin. I miss the woods that were my backyard. I miss having so much imagination. I miss being a weird little goofball. I miss being happy. Truly happy.
  
It gets better. Being a teenager fuckin' sucks, and whoever said those were the best years of your life lied.

Although I have different stresses now and it can be pretty rough at times, being an adult and having all the freedom that entails has made me much, much happier than I ever was during high school or even during college. It's nice not to have to worry about social bullshit as much. You can just go find neat clubs that have the same interests as you, and it's just considered OK as an adult to... y'know, have interests.

Plus, for me, it was so, so nice not to have to deal with my parents any more. They were a major cause of stress for me. They were frustrating in many ways. Being independent has allowed me to put up boundaries that allow me to have a cordial relationship with them.
  
Teenagers aren't generally allowed to set their own boundaries, or even taught how/why. Is this a blind spot that our society tends to get wrong and not even notice?
  
does anyone have anxiety about slipping up? like accidentally saying a racial slur, saying a euphemism that you genuinely didn't know the meaning of, making obscene body language in public accidentally, or the thought of commiting a heinous crime against humanity if you lost control of your impulses?

like for example right now when i impulsively post something like this to disturb the poor people of this website.

hrrnnng actions like this is the reason why i left in the first place, or why i feel embarassed all the time. at least it's out in the open now. i'm sure there's a thread somewhere for self loathing and guilt, i just haven't found it yet. lolololololololololololol.

is it an excuse to say that i fear talking about my ***MENTAL STRUGGLE*** with the people around me (family, mostly.)

i don't feel bad about posting on this thread because i was the one who made it lol

i guess i just needed to get this out of my system, so here goes:


the world is shit

life is shit

my life is shit

everything is shit

food is shit

music is shit

school is shit

relationships are shit

anxiety is shit

i am shit

being lonely is shit

hating myself is shit

hating everyone is shit

feeling a constant nagging sense of guilt and dread for something you can't exactly pinpoint is shit

a constant tugging need to be violent is shit

yes perhaps some of what i said may lead many to advise me to seek therapy

existing is shit

no i don't mean i'm suicidal i'm just mad at everything and everyone

goddammit i feel reluctant to talk about my emotions on this website because for multitude of reasons.

if any mod sees this and thinks it's too distressing to read just take it down for the love of god.

but i don't know where else to go

ughhhhhhhhhhh

hopelessness is shit

misery is shit

not having motivation, period is shit

my person as in my character as in the kind of person i am is shit

being constantly struggle and a burden to everyone around me is shit

the first thing you think of when you see yourself in the mirror is "i want to die" is shit

god damn me
  
Hey, you dropped this, king.

Sounds like you're pretty overwhelmed with a lot of negative stuff! You don't like yourself or your life right now, and that's OK. I've been there, I've done enough wrong in my life sometimes I still feel that way when I first wake up and open my eyes.

I see you and your pain and though it looks ugly right now, you're still beautiful my friend.

How long have you felt like shit about yourself?
  
since about two years ago

that's when i moved to a new school, and it's been downhill ever since
  
thanks, water phoenix.
  
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