Two Cans & String

{ "thread_id": "8241", "posts": [ { "id": "797922", "time": "1411320399", "html": "Now, I know that some of you want to do this. This is where we throw bad poems! Write bad poems, talk in bad poems, feel the hate flow through you, link us to the worst poems you've ever seen, and last but not least, express yourself in intentionally bad poems!<br />\nHeck, I'm not even sure if intentionally bad poetry would technically count as poetry, but whatever. <br />\n<br />\nI know that I for one, have found writing awful poetry way too much fun to resist. Let's jump right to it.<br />\n<br />\nThis thread<br />\nIs like<br />\nMy insides.<br />\nHot.<br />\n<br />\nEdit:<br />\n<h2 class=\"heading\">All emotional Vocaroo readings of any bad poems gladly accepted.</h2>", "user": "jaxxie" }, { "id": "797924", "time": "1411320644", "html": "these words<br />\nyellow<br />\nlike a flower<br />\nand also<br />\nfuzzy<br />\nor something<br />\n<br />\npoetry.", "user": "tinmansgirl27" }, { "id": "797929", "time": "1411321537", "html": "There once was a man with a shoe.<br />\nHe used it to walk to the zoo.<br />\nHe bought some pie<br />\nand tried not to die<br />\nBut ended up falling into the lion pit and getting mauled.", "user": "houndoom" }, { "id": "797930", "time": "1411321605", "html": "that man<br />\nwrenches my heart<br />\nmakes me fear<br />\nfor the deer", "user": "tinmansgirl27" }, { "id": "797933", "time": "1411322611", "html": "Oh hey, I am a bad person. I am comfortable in this thread. I'll do my best.<br />\n<br />\n<h2 class=\"heading\">nothing ink</h2><br />\nThe papers are yelling<br />\nFeed Me<br />\nfeed<br />\nme<br />\n<br />\nthe pens are my chariots and i<br />\nam their master<br />\nSpit out your life<br />\nyour entire life, they tell me<br />\n"ink shower, bitch"<br />\n<br />\nnobody can see on white pages, baby,<br />\nAnd the illusion works<br />\nas long as you let it<br />\nWrite it in stanzas and sprinkle lies<br />\nthat only you believe<br />\nNobody knows<br />\n<br />\nThe lamp laughs and I need protection<br />\nFrom this bazaar of melting rooms and withheld permissions<br />\nit knows my secret<br />\nink is life<br />\nink is love<br />\nThis life, baby, must be the last. Page.<br />\n<br />\nthe pens are empty<br />\nthe magic is no<br />\nno ink<br />\nnothing ink.", "user": "huxley" }, { "id": "798323", "time": "1411429549", "html": "(A typical day in LoL)<br />\nGet rekt<br />\nScrub<br />\nUninstall League<br />\nMiss shots<br />\nFail ulti<br />\nLose lane<br />\nFeed bot<br />\nFeed top<br />\nRage quit<br />\nAnd repeat", "user": "asesal" }, { "id": "798325", "time": "1411430388", "html": "<span style=\"font-weight:bold;\">Meta</span><br />\n<br />\nT<br />\nHi<br />\n<br />\nS<br />\n<br />\n1S<br />\n<br />\n4P<br />\n<br />\nO<br />\n3<br />\n<br />\nm", "user": "lazro" }, { "id": "798329", "time": "1411430847", "html": "Your eyes are sad<br />\nLike a puppy<br />\nWhose boy was kidnapped.", "user": "summersland" }, { "id": "798481", "time": "1411519661", "html": "Your face is sad<br />\nlike a face<br />\nthat has to be <br />\nyours<br />\n<br />\nI hope your skin<br />\nfeels singed<br />\nand that you need aloe vera <br />\nfor that<br />\n<br />\nBurn.", "user": "tinmansgirl27" }, { "id": "798783", "time": "1411680109", "html": "My life is tru<br />\nA convulsing tightness in the chest of health food<br />\nEat bacon, love.", "user": "mrmagikpants" }, { "id": "798846", "time": "1411698591", "html": "So I just received a lovely game thing called haikubes for my birthday, where you roll the die and create haikus, but I just use them for interesting lines in poetry. Some are really bad and/or dirty too so it becomes pretty funny. I'm now gonna write a little haiku for y'all using some of the words I remember rolling. It's bad because it just is, okay?<br />\n<br />\n<span style=\"font-weight:bold;\">His melodic thunder stick,<br />\nclever fantasy,<br />\nembraced my gorgeous love trunk</span><br />\n<br />\nI will be playing for these for a while...", "user": "tinmansgirl27" }, { "id": "798859", "time": "1411704912", "html": "Oh my... Did it just get warm in here? <img src=\"/images/common/emoticons/blush.png\" alt=\":#\" />", "user": "hydrogen777" }, { "id": "798871", "time": "1411731169", "html": "It sounds like the sex scene in <span style=\"font-style:italic;\">Siddhartha</span>. Ehehehehe", "user": "meowmix6" }, { "id": "798873", "time": "1411735279", "html": "Oh my god yes. Someone step on a foot so we can hear about the ascention of his tree.", "user": "summersland" }, { "id": "798889", "time": "1411753036", "html": "There's a review of the Haikubes online with the full word bank, y'all should check it out if you want. This is definitely a board game for writers if I ever saw one. So great. The only complaints I've found is that each die has one blank side (except the prompt die) and that there are some inappropriate words. Other than those two things which I am totally fine with, they're amazing. If you guys want me to write you more stuff from them, I could. Also, I am now using the phrase "gorgeous love trunk" in my everyday life.", "user": "tinmansgirl27" }, { "id": "798937", "time": "1411835773", "html": "That poem made me laugh so hard...if you make any more as great as this one, I'd be glad to read it. XD", "user": "cool7girl7" }, { "id": "801613", "time": "1412883855", "html": "Very poetic idioms--<br />\nor very idiotic poems.<br />\nI drank my absinthe tonight, <br />\nwhich I think makes one idiotic. <br />\nI do not often feel idiotically about you, <br />\nbecause I'm not sure that you would like me.<br />\nPerhaps by which I mean<br />\nto like me to think about you poetically.<br />\nWhen I do, I think it forced.<br />\nIt seems against your nature <br />\nto poeticise you.", "user": "k" }, { "id": "802723", "time": "1413316902", "html": "Oh electronics,<br />\nYou thrilling wonder,<br />\nHow you perplex me.<br />\n<br />\nMy brain is made <br />\nOf you, yet you<br />\nResist,<br />\nAnd I cannot learn<br />\nYour secrets.<br />\n<br />\nI have swum<br />\nAgainst many currents<br />\nBut none<br />\nAs strong as yours,<br />\nRanging up to <br />\nA few Amp\u00e8res.<br />\n<br />\nYou make me feel<br />\nBipolar,<br />\nLike your <br />\nTransistors:<br />\nOne moment as positive <br />\nAs a person can be,<br />\nAnd then<br />\nNegative.<br />\n<br />\nLike an operational <br />\nAmplifier,<br />\nI need feedback. <br />\nGive me.", "user": "jaxxie" }, { "id": "803177", "time": "1413501298", "html": "Hodor hodor hodor<br />\nHodor hodor<br />\nHodor, hodor hodor<br />\nHodor.<br />\n<br />\nHodor hodor hodor hodor?<br />\nHodor, hodor hodor, hodor.<br />\nHodor<br />\nHodor Hodor<br />\n<br />\nHodor: Hodor<br />\n<span style=\"color:#ffffff;\">This had to be done.</span>", "user": "asesal" }, { "id": "803758", "time": "1413781849", "html": ":D", "user": "summersland" }, { "id": "804455", "time": "1414183530", "html": "@jaxxie<br />\nLike a diode, your poem is biased. It has its plusses and minuses, but there's definite potential.", "user": "gws" }, { "id": "809684", "time": "1416076055", "html": "Hahahaha. Awesome, gws! :D<br />\n<br />\n<h2 class=\"heading\">Make-up breakup </h2>Oh make-up<br />\nHow I hate you<br />\nI loathe how society<br />\nWants me... <br />\nNo, <span style=\"font-style:italic;\">begs</span> me<br />\nTo put you on myself<br />\nSlather you all over my face<br />\n<br />\nI hide my true self<br />\nFrom time to time,<br />\nBut you cannot <br />\nCover anything that I want to hide<br />\nYou are a fake thing<br />\nFor a fake world<br />\nAnd that is not a world that I want to live in", "user": "jaxxie" }, { "id": "811376", "time": "1416703068", "html": "This keyboard is like a thing with buttons that make letters.<br />\nThe monitor is like a screen that displays imagery.<br />\nImagery is cool to put in poetry.<br />\nOnomatopoeia.<br />\n<br />\nTo all based<br />\nspell<br />\ncheck.<br />\nThank, you.", "user": "waterphoenix" }, { "id": "811733", "time": "1416803330", "html": "Beauty and pain, <br />\nTwo sides of the same coin,<br />\nJuxtaposed.<br />\nA lovers embrace, <br />\nNever-ending, <br />\nFlaking.<br />\nTwo sides of the same coin, <br />\nTossed into the mendicant's cup.", "user": "inigo" }, { "id": "842292", "time": "1425584360", "html": "All right. So I stumbled across a document on my computer called "Roses are red". If I remember correctly, I made it at a time when we were throwing out variations of the typical "Roses are red" in the chatroom. I can't remember if that document only has my creations in it, or if I wrote other people's work in there as well, but I decided that the document's contents belong in this thread. Here goes. Warning for some terribleness.<br />\n<br />\n<br />\nRoses are red,<br />\nViolets are blue.<br />\nI feel like dying,<br />\nSince you did so too.<br />\n<br />\nRoses are red,<br />\nViolets are blue, <br />\nI love you dearly,<br />\nI wish that you knew.<br />\n<br />\nRoses are red,<br />\nViolets are blue,<br />\nMy heart\u2019s in this box,<br />\nI ripped it out for you.<br />\n<br />\n<div style=\"font-style:italic;color:#888;\">Here comes my personal favourite</div>Roses are red,<br />\nViolets are blue,<br />\nI\u2018m nothing special,<br />\nAnd neither are you.<br />\nSo the fact that we are drooling over each other like two idiots is completely incomprehensible. <br />\n<br />\nRoses are red,<br />\nViolets are blue,<br />\nPunk is dead,<br />\nAnd so are you.<br />\n<br />\nRoses are red,<br />\nViolets are red,<br />\nHey, these roses are white!<br />\nOFF WITH THEIR HEADS!<br />\n<br />\nRoses are red,<br />\nViolets are blue,<br />\nI need you dead,<br />\nSo I can fuck you.", "user": "jaxxie" } ], "users": { "jaxxie": { "name": "jaxxie", "key": "jaxxie", "url": "/users/jaxxie", "avatar": "https://twocansandstring.com/uploads/drawn/3301.png", "rankClass": "admin", "rankText": "Admin", "posts": "8231" }, "tinmansgirl27": { "name": "TinmansGirl27", "key": "tinmansgirl27", "url": "/users/tinmansgirl27", "avatar": "https://twocansandstring.com/uploads/drawn/1940.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "5563" }, "houndoom": { "name": "Houndoom", "key": "houndoom", "url": "/users/houndoom", "avatar": "https://twocansandstring.com/images/white.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "2407" }, "huxley": { "name": "Huxley", "key": "huxley", "url": "/users/huxley", "avatar": "https://twocansandstring.com/images/white.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "1731" }, "asesal": { "name": "asesal", "key": "asesal", "url": "/users/asesal", "avatar": "https://twocansandstring.com/uploads/drawn/5224.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "4978" }, "lazro": { "name": "Lazro", "key": "lazro", "url": "/users/lazro", "avatar": "https://twocansandstring.com/uploads/drawn/12093.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "8849" }, "summersland": { "name": "Summer's land", "key": "summersland", "url": "/users/summersland", "avatar": "https://twocansandstring.com/uploads/drawn/951.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "2555" }, "mrmagikpants": { "name": "mrmagikpants", "key": "mrmagikpants", "url": "/users/mrmagikpants", "avatar": "https://twocansandstring.com/uploads/drawn/11458.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "920" }, "hydrogen777": { "name": "Hydrogen777", "key": "hydrogen777", "url": "/users/hydrogen777", "avatar": "https://twocansandstring.com/uploads/drawn/11933.png", "rankClass": "admin", "rankText": "Admin", "posts": "7169" }, "meowmix6": { "name": "Meowmix6", "key": "meowmix6", "url": "/users/meowmix6", "avatar": "https://twocansandstring.com/uploads/drawn/1504.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "9767" }, "cool7girl7": { "name": "cool7girl7", "key": "cool7girl7", "url": "/users/cool7girl7", "avatar": "https://twocansandstring.com/uploads/drawn/3505.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "11219" }, "k": { "name": "K", "key": "k", "url": "/users/k", "avatar": "https://twocansandstring.com/uploads/drawn/1314.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "5449" }, "gws": { "name": "gws", "key": "gws", "url": "/users/gws", "avatar": "https://twocansandstring.com/uploads/drawn/1209.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "4814" }, "waterphoenix": { "name": "Water Phoenix", "key": "waterphoenix", "url": "/users/waterphoenix", "avatar": "https://twocansandstring.com/uploads/drawn/4256.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "8702" }, "inigo": { "name": "Inigo", "key": "inigo", "url": "/users/inigo", "avatar": "https://twocansandstring.com/images/white.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "817" } }, "page_num": 1, "locked": 0, "total_pages": 4, "you_banned": 0 }

All The Other Things:

There's a TCaS twitter thingamajig. I'm not sure why.