ForumTouchy Subjects ► LGBT-phobia
Today, I witnessed an assault in the morning. Waiting for 1st period to start while in the cafeteria, a junior punched a sophomore, twice. The aggressor, a guy, had recently gotten out of JDC after having gone for possession of marijuana multiple times. And the victim, a transgender girl (MtF) did absolutely nothing. The aggressor did it solely because of the way she was, and ever since I witnessed the event I've felt dreadful the entire day. I'm so upset by the fact that in 2019 people are still violently hateful like that. It's one thing to be spammed with the clown emoji for telling an instagram comment section you're transgender, but it's another to get hurt by people for it.

What do you think about this?
Pretty fucked.
JFC, why can't people just let other people be people? It's life, you should realize it's not fair and not everything going to go your way. That means that people aren't always going to fit into your idea of "right"

I feel very strongly about this. People just have different levels of bigotry. I guarantee you that if they were Jewish, that would be labelled as "antisemitism" and then there would be a different discussion entirely. (Now, don't get me wrong, I'm Jewish and I know firsthand that antisemitism exists, but that's not what I'm saying). My point is that people have different levels of which aggressions are considered more wrong. People just have different thresholds. It circumvents the discussion, and in some way that makes some people slightly trans and homophobic (Some people, though. Not everyone). People would certainly be talking about it more if it were racially or ethically motivated, but violence like this happens every day and there's not nearly as much discussion about the trans and gay people who are having the shit beat out of them, compared to the "Woman who wasn't served in McDonalds because she was hispanic". One obviously makes the headlines more because people obviously don't want to talk about this problem and sweep it under the rug and hope it disappears because a bunch of bystander are afraid of what their friends and family think when they come to the defense of the gays.

No they'd rather just make jokes about their friends being gay and ignore whats happening to the actual gays daily because there are assholes out there who can't accept they have different sexual orientations and identities than they can accept. Something that their targets can't help.

(I know I said "gay" a lot in this but I'm using it more as an umbrella term for the LGBTQIA+ community. And I'm more talking about the population in general in this. I'm sure there are some of you out there who are trying to make a difference and I appreciate you.)
I've recently decided to seriously pursue a career in teaching. And as a (pretty obviously) trans woman stuff like this terrifies me, particularly when it happens in a school setting. I'm lucky enough to have spent most of my life since I started transitioning in extremely progressive, welcoming environments. It was only fairly recently that, for the first time, I was treated maliciously, in person, because of/about my gender. And I was lucky enough that it was a child I was supervising, and that I have a supportive boss who took the time to discuss with the child why this was inappropriate, because the vast majority of the time there's no "happy" ending like that.

But last night I was reading articles and interviews from transgender teachers, and I started to realize that amab trans teachers, who are out to their students, just... don't really exist. Especially not high school biology teachers. Teenage boys are, in general, some of the most terrifying people I know, and I'd like to be able to help them, and help protect others from them. But I'm starting to wonder if I should just give up now, before I've wasted another two years of my life only to be treated like absolute shit by both my students and by the rest of the faculty.
Don't abandon hope. It'll be difficult but you can be a shining beacon for others like you, if you persevere :)
It may be a matter of the right school.
The high school I went to, nobody would care if one of the teachers was transgender.
I'm a teacher in a different country so my experience might be a little bit different (I'm also not trans or gay). However, it is generally discouraged here that teachers discuss their own gender and sexuality with students, rather it's best to deflect the question if a kid asks you. It is actively encouraged that you run an inclusive classroom and that means supporting and including LGBT+ students but you don't need to be out to them. Nor your school. Personally, I don't believe it's our place to discuss such personal things with students in a classroom environment (one to one may be different but presents its own issues). It's our job to facilitate learning of the curriculum and model appropriate behaviour and attitude for future professional environments. Which includes promoting acceptance and allyship.

I don't know. That's my belief and you and other teachers may feel differently and that's cool if your employer is also chill with it. But when you study teaching you'll be told to take a similar approach to what I've been talking about.
I can appreciate the thought behind that kind of approach but unfortunately there's not really a way for me to exist without also being out to the people around me. To steal a phrase from one of the articles I read, "I come out by walking into a room or at least by opening my mouth." Even if I were lucky enough to pass 100% of the time, nonbinary folks generally don't even have the option of trying to pass as a binary gender, nor would they want to. And I don't think there's any reason they should have to in order to work in certain fields.

Having a non-heterosexual orientation is a bit easier to "hide" but I really don't think that should be required either. Like, certainly there's no need to introduce yourself with your sexual orientation, but I have plenty of memories (generally from elementary school) of teachers talking about getting married, or having a baby. I think it's absolutely okay to talk about things like that with your students, after all, particularly at that age, their teachers are a big part of their lives. However, t's very difficult, sometimes impossible, to discuss those kind of events without revealing your sexual orientation. Which is fine for straight people, but the rest of us shouldn't have to tiptoe around certain topics just to keep parts of our lives a secret.

Ultimately, my existing in a public space isn't some kind of potitical statement I'm trying to make. I just want to live my life like everyone else. And I'd like to spend my life doing something I am good at, something I enjoy. Which happens to be teaching.
Teenage boys are indeed assholes. It seems a lot of teenage boy culture is about wanting to be respected and putting others down to get it. Don't be too discouraged, I got called gay for hugging a girlfriend back when I was in school, it seems like it's out of vogue to use it as an insult here and people are broadly accepting in NZ anyway but that may not apply in the US.
I had one trans professor in college (for gender studies class, specifically called Sociology of Sex, Sexuality, and Gender) who never told us about their identity other than pronouns and that they were transitioning. This was 11 years ago, so there were basically no trans people visible in media, no Tumblr, no public awareness writ large. Professors in other classes attempted to talk about LGBT issues and regularly mistakenly identified the "T" as transsexual or transvestite, or used those terms interchangeably. Unless you were part of a "community" or in a class like this one, or if you had a close friend or relative who was trans, there was basically no way to have the level of awareness that is expected as a bare minimum today.

And it was hard, for me, the only cisgender heterosexual male in the class and also in my friend group to grapple with things like... What was my professor transitioning toward? Or away from? Were they ever a little boy or girl? Or were they never? What are the grammar rules for singular they? Does it conjugate like plural they, or like he/she? No one had ever used it around me for an individual person without being corrected before. Wait, so intersex is a really common thing? And doctors just lob off the dickly bits and call them girls? Without telling the parents sometimes? And are we supposed to be fine with that, or???? And people can just change their pronouns to what they're comfortable with? And there are non-traditional pronouns like ze and hir and, oh my......

And I feel like I learned a lot in that class, started looking at the world a new way, would never even think to ask most of those questions now... I've basically completely deconstructed the gender binary in my mind. And I know this was a very progressive and nurturing academic environment. But the world outside the academic incubator is catching up to that process.

And in another eleven years' time, maybe being out and trans in the world won't even be worth a second thought for most people. Being a teacher and being trans will be just two miniscule aspects of a much larger identity.
I read the first post again and that’s definitely an assault, not a fight.
In the moment I had no idea what really to call it. On the day it happened when I wrote this, I was throwing words at the textbox and some might not make sense.

EDIT 10/25/2019 - I changed "one-sided fight" to "assault"
And I just love seeing "are transgenders delusional?" on the front page for over 24 hours on TC&S. Yup, makes me feel welcome here.
In my point of view we don't know how the asker feels so... it's kinda weird and I don't know which side to be on. But transphobes are terrible.
It's pretty easy to figure out.

"Transgenders" is a disrespectful term. "Transgender" is supposed to be used as you would an adjective, and not a noun. Transphobes know that using terms like "transgenders" and "transgendered" is derogatory so they purposefully use it.

"Delusional" is the other keyword. One political group loves to throw this term around about anyone that doesn't believe or act in the exact same manner as their political party.

It's a very easy bet that this asker browses alt-right communities, because, well, I do it all the time and I know their tactics well.
Oh jeez.

That really sucks to hear. I at first attributed it to like, if they were someone like my parents and don't know the terminology so they just say shit.
Yeah, it's kinda like asking "do [n-word]have a persecution complex?". There is a potentially valid question there, but the phrasing indicates that it is asked in bad faith.

Mod edit: censored you. --Fwip
You can't say that, dude.
My point exactly.
But, like, why say it at all? You're better than that
I was providing a parallel to the question Dave was discussing.
I was providing a parallel to the question TheDave was discussing. You immediately saw the problem with mine, whereas you and others may well have missed it in the trans example. That IMHO justifies my use of the n-word.
Alright fine. That was just... kinda really uncalled for
Sure, technically you got your point across but there was probably a better way to go about it. I'm fairly certain most trans people would agree that the n-word and 'transgenders' are not even remotely similar when it comes to offensive words.

When I see someone use a word like 'transgenders' I generally assume that either the person using it has no idea what they're talking about, or they're attempting some sort of joke. (I sometimes call myself a transgendered because I think it's a funny word, others might be thinking along the lines of 'haha it's funny to invalidate others by not using the proper language')

But yeah, the 'delusional' part hints that maybe they're not really approaching this topic with an open mind.
TheDave said:
And I just love seeing "are transgenders delusional?" on the front page for over 24 hours on TC&S. Yup, makes me feel welcome here.

I would recommend reporting that question/comment. Mods can't catch everything, and it's helpful to report so they can catch more than they otherwise would.
Forum > Touchy Subjects > LGBT-phobia