ForumTouchy Subjects ► Body Image Issues
How do I not feel self conscious about my body?
idk i hate mine too, just lie to yourself
Meat puppets will be abandoned soon. Don't worry, we're working on it.
That's kind of ominous, kyle.
Everything Kylljoy says is ominous in some way.
I don't go to the gym because I'm self conscious about my body

But I'm self conscious about my body because I don't go to the gym

Irony can be so painful

That's a catch-22
you dont have to go to the gym to exercise
do jumping jacks in the grass or in your bathroom
there is no grass and my bedroom's too small
How do I not feel self conscious about my body?

i don't know
maybe we just always will be.
but it helps if we learn some form of body nuetrality. not not caring about your body, but learning to accept that your body is the way that it is, and, if you're genuinely unhappy with it, finding real, attainable ways of making yourself more happy with it.
hope this helps somehow
As someone who's anxious about everything, it's best to find a way to ignore these thoughts. If you're not feeling well, take a walk somewhere. Stretch every morning and drink lots of water. And, if you can, sleep as much as possible! It sucks to be self-defeating, but working on small goals can help put your mind away from toxicity. It's not a cure, but certainly helps from my case.

Start small, eat less and walk around the block a few times everyday. Weight loss is all CICO.
It's not even necessarily about eating less, it's about eating better. If you're in the habit of snacking, and you try to just stop, you'll fail. Instead, just find healthy snacks.
Ombra said:
Weight loss is all CICO.
This is one of those phrases that is only technically correct. There are so many aspects that affect both your calorie intake and expenditure, and counting calories and exercising are only a small part of it.

"Calories in" can be affected in many ways, here are some:
1) The obvious one, how many calories are on the label of the food you eat.
2) How efficiently you absorb those calories, which includes:
2a) How quickly you poop out what you eat, for example, fats tend to increase the traversal rate, which gives your body less time to absorb calories
2b) Your hormone levels (which are affected by your diet and activity levels)
2c) The kind of food you eat - for example, nuts are less efficiently absorbed, and some foods caloric availability depend on how much you cook them.
2d) Genetic factors - some folk have longer intestines and absorb more nutrients, some people lack enzymes to process certain nutrients.
2e) Non-genetic physical factors - the microbes in your gut affect digestion, fasting can affect the surface area of your intestines, etc.

Calories out has even more factors governing it:
1) Exercise burns calories, again starting with the obvious one
2) Resting metabolic rate - this is closes to the concept of "metabolism." Most of your calories burned each day are just used to keep your body alive and healthy, "on average" it's about 1500 calories a day. This is again influenced by a ton of factors:
2a) Hormones
2b) Weight & body composition - The more body you have, the more energy it needs, and different tissue needs different amounts. e.g: per pound, muscle takes more calories to keep working than fat.
2c) How much sleep you get
2d) Infection/illness
2e) Mental things like anxiety and depression
2f) Air temperature
2g) How many calories you intake - when you eat fewer calories, your body tries to conserve energy by burning less. Some people's bodies respond more dramatically to adjusting caloric intake than others (in both directions).
2h) Medication or drugs, including antidepressants, caffeine and nicotine.
2i) Dietary deficiencies - missing certain nutrients will slow down your metabolism
2j) Genetics, age, etc.
3) Non-resting, non-exercise calorie expenditure
3a) Thinking - about 20% of your calories go to your brain, and working on mentally demanding tasks can require more energy and lower your blood glucose levels.
3b) Digestion itself - some foods take a lot more energy in the process of digestion, which are not reflected in the calories on the label. If you've ever heard "celery has negative calories," it's based on this idea.

This is all just to say, "calories in minus calories out" is true, but it's a lot harder to control either of those than you might think. Taking an action that reduces C-in will often also reduce C-out, and increasing C-out will cause the body to try to increase C-in.
There's sort of an "influencer doctor" I like on Instagram/YouTube called Dr. Spencer Nadolsky who is an obesity and weight loss specialist who spends most of his time dispelling the myths of the weight loss industry.
I wish I knew my resting caloric burn better, but it always feels like it's changing. I am actively being more active and counting calories and I am gaining weight anyways so I'm just annoyed at this point.
Resting metabolic rate doesn't vary all that much between people. For instance according to this study, "the overall mean value for [resting metabolic rate] from the 397 publication estimates for adults was 0.863 kcal·kg−1·h−1 (95% CI = 0.852–0.874)." So I guess 95% of adults in those studies were within ~1.3% of the mean resting metabolic rate. There are of course outliers and differences between groups; this study concludes that "adhering to the nearly universally accepted MET convention may lead to the overestimation of the RMR of approximately 10% for men and almost 15% for women and be as high as 20%–30% for some demographic and anthropometric combinations." But that's still not as big a difference as I think some people expect.
That's the confidence interval for the population mean, not the CI for a randomly picked member of the population. You can see from Figure 2 that the highest age/gender mean rate is ~0.96 for young men, and the lowest is about ~0.73 for old women. You can also see in Figure 3, the spread for an individual age/gender group, comparing 'normal' to 'obese' BMI is usually a difference of about 0.15 to 0.2, or about 20%-25% of the mean.

(I've omitted units for brevity, but all numbers in this post are in kcal·kg−1·h−1).
Thanks, I should have read that more carefully. 😅 Point stands though - the variance is still not wildly high.
I think about people’s bodies a lot. If I’m hanging out with someone, I pay really close to attention to what they eat and what they drink, what it seems like their diet is like, how physically active they are, what drugs they intake like coffee for example. I went on a date once last year with a fat guy who was eating a sandwich full of lettuce and drinking water and tea whose job requires him to be very physically active. Before I went on a date with him, I went on a date with a skinny university student. He was drinking like three cups of coffee and eating a sloppy Joe and told me he mostly eats food from the student union building and it seemed like his daily routine was drive to class, stay on campus, eat garbage, go home, study, and sleep. Who did I go on more than one date with and who am I still dating today? The fat guy. Obviously that’s not the only reason why, but I hope the point is made.

My point in saying all this is that you can be fat and have your body be beautifully sparkling clean and deserving of a marble statue. You can be skinny and have your body be a toxic garbage dump deserving of being a 4chan meme. This is, obviously, precluding things like weighing 600 lbs or being cachexic.

I guess I’m saying that I wish people didn’t just consider how skinny or fat they are when they assess their body image. There’s things way more important and way easier to control than your weight.
If you don't like your body and you are taking good care of it, maybe adjust your thoughts and self image and think more positively about what you are so that you can feel good.

If you don't like your body because you are taking bad care of it and its showing signs of neglect and abuse that you are not happy with, maybe take better care of your body.
Man if I could think good about my body I would. 'Adjusting my thoughts' isn't exactly a solid tool against dysphoria.
What's your dysphoria like?
My body is wrong and every time I notice certain parts of it I am intensely and inignorably aware of that fact. It makes me very uncomfortable and at times anxious. It's like remembering something terrible you did in middle school or suddenly being forced to listen to a recording of your own voice. And trying to think kindly of myself isn't exactly a solution when the problem isn't that my body is bad, it's that it's wrong.
I agree, that doesn't sound like it would work for you at all. That's a very rough thing to experience.

I acknowledge you and recognize that my generic advice for generic people is not going to work for you because you are not a generic person and I respect that. Axioms can only take us so far and what works for me and for some people is not going to work for everyone, I get that and I respect the reality of your more unique situation.

Edit: That's cool if ya'll read that, but I felt like I was over sharing there for a second so for my own comfort-ability I'm just gonna redact this last part. I'm still processing my childhood sometimes and haven't quite made sense of it all, but doin' pretty chill now as an adult.
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