ForumTouchy Subjects ► Self-Harm
So what is everyone's opinion on self-harm? Just wondering, that's all.
  
my body my choice
  
Species: People in severe distress can't legally sign a contract; why can they not make legally binding decisions or medical decisions but still make potentially life-altering decisions regarding their body?
  
Self harm is a sad subject to me. It alleviates emotional pain by causing a physical pain that releases some kind of countering effect to the emotional. It can be as hard an addiction as any to overcome.

The cause of most depression, alienation, suicidalism, self harm etc. is a sense of isolation and loneliness, being misunderstood or talked over, etc. Feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness especially if maltreated or neglected by close family and friends. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and connect and ask for help for people who have been hurt ever since early childhood.

I don't recommend self harm or any self debilitating addiction as a coping mechanism. It takes a lot of compassion and understanding and quality self connection and often support from others to come back from a dark place like that.
  
Grayseff said:
Species: People in severe distress can't legally sign a contract; why can they not make legally binding decisions or medical decisions but still make potentially life-altering decisions regarding their body?


Because crop dusting urban centers with ketamine to keep the plebes sedated is frowned upon by most societies.
  
I think you're missing the point. Other indicators of mental unwellness are grounds to (in some cases arrest) detain people but not self harm? Also, urban centers wouldn't work, rural areas have higher suicide rates by far.
  
I haven't read much of this. But recently I've been thinking about selfharming. Not because of emotional pain..but because I have no emotions. I feel dead inside..and I've thought about selfharm as a way to.. feel alive I guess. Idk.

I don't need a pep talk, I won't actually do it. Just thought I'd give another perspective.
  
It's not a good idea. You go ham on your arm or your leg with a steak knife or something, yeah you'll feel better but 30 minutes after you'll just be bleeding and feeling stupid. I've always done it in anger or in stress. Hence why when I've done it I've "gone ham," not meticulously sat down and made clean cuts. Any way of doing it though- I promise you, you'll just bleed and feel stupid.
  
Drugs, eating disorders, gambling and sex are also in the self-harm umbrella
  
What about say, taking benzodiazepines as directed for only their intended use? I have a script for klonopin, it's dosed at 0.5 mg and I take 0.125 (one fourth of the dose) for panic attacks and 0.25 for sudden seizures. I think 0.125 mg of klonopin is a lot easier on my body and brain than slicing up my legs with a steak knife.

Edit: oh I'm stupid, I see what you mean. You meant actual drug abuse.
  
Yea I consider self-harm as any inappropriate/Ill-advised coping mechanisms that damage you.
  
So are smoking cigarettes a form of self harm?

Obviously I'm not arguing in favor of smoking.
  
I suppose it depends why. Is it a coping mechanism?
  
Yeah I guess it depends. Why did you start smoking? For me it definitely was.
  
Honestly? To look cool.
  
Hahaha! Sorry, forgive me for finding that kind of funny. But what about now? Don't you smoke when you feel stressed or nervous? I mean, I remember skyping you once and I smoked a cigarette and you did too. So of course there's the "Someone said cigarette. I want a cigarette" thought that happens but didn't it serve a purpose?

I had my first cigarette when i was 15, the same year I had every traumatic thing occur. I had a panic attack/crying spell at school and my best friend asked me "You want a cigarette?" And I thought fuck yes I want a god damn cigarette. Just to weigh in, I really hope i dont come across as if I'm thinking something "I been through some shit, son. Whatchu done been through?!" because comparing battle scars never gets anyone anywhere.


You know, to be honest, I thought it was cool too. That's why I kept smoking after i had my first one. I loved the way it would make all anxiety and stress disappear but damn I mean. I was 15 and smoking at a public high school during school hours in broad day light. Fuck yeah I felt cool.
  
I'll move this to a PM so we don't hijack the thread, but I definitely smoke or at least want to when I'm stressed or upset.
  
Yeah, I'm continuing to hijack the thread, but I definitely smoke as a coping mechanism. It helps me with my anxiety for sure. That's why I started, and that's why I continue to smoke today.

To get back on track to the actual subject of the thread, the worst I've ever done was jab my fingernails into my hands until they bled when I was feeling really anxious and depressed and didn't know how to deal with it. It went away, but I had those marks there for a while. Generally would not recommend.
  
I used to self-harm extremely extensively for a few years while I was really depressed. I would use razor blades and lighters to localize my depression and anxiety into a more concrete pain that I could deal with. It would provide temporary relief, but it was only ever a coping mechanism. It never solved any of my problems or made anything better. I eventually overcame my depression through hobbies, a little therapy, and general self care. I've come to accept my scars and I don't mind when people see them. I've come to see them as a part of me and a part of my history.
  
Noooooooooope
  
Grayseff said:
I think you're missing the point. Other indicators of mental unwellness are grounds to (in some cases arrest) detain people but not self harm? Also, urban centers wouldn't work, rural areas have higher suicide rates by far.


NZ prolly has better mental health care infrastructure than the US along with the rest of the first world, but there's a legal basis for ruling that contracts made under extreme freakout are non-binding, and there's a legal basis for detaining people who might hurt others. The legal basis for detaining self-harming people is a lot more dubious because they're not going to hurt anyone else and they're not likely to hurt themselves fatally for a long time if ever either. So yeah it's pretty on par to committing someone to an asylum because they like to drink. Or crop dusting them with ketamine.
  
Even though I asked *you* guys for your opinions, but I'm gonna add my own opinion in here if that's okay:
Honestly, I feel like harming yourself is extremely stupid. (I don't know how else to put it, so I'm sorry if I offended somebody) Its just like...I feel like you're weak. The stronger people look for the help they need and see that there are people there for them, but then the weaker people tell themselves that nobody's then they resort to self harm. I've never self harmed so I can't say that I understand how people feel when they do it, nor can I say that I understand why. (I'm a stupid potato so please nobody take me super serious. This is just how I look at it)
  
Thank you for sharing your honest opinions about it.

I want to tell you that if you were to share that opinion with someone who self harms, it would disconnect and alienate them even if you had the best intentions of encouraging them that there's no shame in asking for help (there isn't).

What people who feel alienated need isn't someone to convince them to feel a different way, but someone to listen to how they feel right now in this moment.

If you know anyone who self harms and they say something like "I am worthless" a connecting response would be "I understand you feel worthless. Want to talk about it?" it shows you are listening to them and hearing what they say with the intent to understand them and not the intent to react to them and this relaxes people and makes them more apt to keep talking to you.

A disconnecting response that will push them away from you is "You are not worthless." to which they would probably make a withdrawing statement like, "I know, I know I'm not." and they will continue to feel worthless even though they know they are not worthless. If you've ever contradicted someone who shared how they're really feeling, you may even have noticed inward closed off body language as they subconsciously even move their posture to protect themselves from you.

People who feel isolated and lonely need more than anything for someone to see and acknowledge how they feel right now in this moment and if you have honestly connected and listened to how they feel without telling them how they ought to feel or think that is when you are most likely to have a positive influence or impact on them.

Do this without agreeing. Don't say, "I agree you're worthless" that's what's called a gallows transaction and you want to stay far away from that because it feeds into an existing negative pattern and influences someone toward the edge and not away from it. Show you understand without agreeing like "I understand you feel worthless". Hope this helps.
  
^ perfect
  
Catta4137 said:
Even though I asked *you* guys for your opinions, but I'm gonna add my own opinion in here if that's okay:
Honestly, I feel like harming yourself is extremely stupid. (I don't know how else to put it, so I'm sorry if I offended somebody) Its just like...I feel like you're weak. The stronger people look for the help they need and see that there are people there for them, but then the weaker people tell themselves that nobody's then they resort to self harm. I've never self harmed so I can't say that I understand how people feel when they do it, nor can I say that I understand why. (I'm a stupid potato so please nobody take me super serious. This is just how I look at it)
Have you ever been really nervous or angry or sad and hurt yourself on accident? Punch a brick wall sometime, feels good man.
  
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