I want to hear some of your favorite *funny* vulgar insults, name calling, one liners, etc. I just saw one online that I absolutley LOVE. Goes like this:
You've got about three brain cells and two of them are busy holding your asshole shut!
Some of my other favorites are:
- fucktard
- asswipe
- cock sucker
I hope this isn't too much for twocans..
1566.742 days ago
Nov 14, 2016 - 7:39 PM
1566.713 days ago
Nov 14, 2016 - 8:21 PM
Omg xD
"Great supine protoplasmic invertebrate jellies!"
1566.704 days ago
Nov 14, 2016 - 8:34 PM
Hands down greatest insult I've ever heard.
1566.701 days ago
Nov 14, 2016 - 8:38 PM
I'm already thinking of a situation in which I can use this.
1566.689 days ago
Nov 14, 2016 - 8:55 PM
I'm a big fan of 'douchenozzle' and 'cuntwaffle' when it's not all too serious. 'Douchecanoe' works well too.
1566.395 days ago
Nov 15, 2016 - 3:58 AM
1566.39 days ago
Nov 15, 2016 - 4:06 AM
1566.388 days ago
Nov 15, 2016 - 4:09 AM
I told my friend during a game to
"Suck my hot nards toaster boi"
1566.38 days ago
Nov 15, 2016 - 4:20 AM
I really like calling people pagans, heathens, and philistines. And I'm talking about the actual philistines, not the modern definition of someone who hates arts.
1566.377 days ago
Nov 15, 2016 - 4:25 AM
I told my friend during a game to
"Suck my hot nards toaster boi"
Why is this so funny? XD
1566.374 days ago
Nov 15, 2016 - 4:29 AM
I can't hear the word "nard" without thinking about
the incense.1566.372 days ago
Nov 15, 2016 - 4:31 AM
I quite enjoy the term "bell-end."
1566.325 days ago
Nov 15, 2016 - 5:39 AM
Can you use that in a sentence?
1566.323 days ago
Nov 15, 2016 - 5:42 AM
"Well, that guy was a massive bell-end."
Basically, it's calling someone a dick.
In a comic1566.323 days ago
Nov 15, 2016 - 5:43 AM
Well, I do have some choice words, but Dipshit is king.
And of course, calling someone a "rusty trombone" just rolls off the tongue, doesnt it? It's a little old school, but it's so fun to say. :)
1563.278 days ago
Nov 18, 2016 - 6:47 AM
I don't actually swear much in real life, but I do have some swearwords/insults I am fond of. Dickweed being one.
And after this morning, I have a new favourite: Pulele lalalelor. Which translates to "The dicks of the tulips."
1563.197 days ago
Nov 18, 2016 - 8:43 AM
I love it!!!!! How do you pronounce that??
1563.034 days ago
Nov 18, 2016 - 12:39 PM
It's just so elegant, isn't it?
1563.023 days ago
Nov 18, 2016 - 12:55 PM
Y'know, now that I've started working at a job where I'm cussed at regularly (the joys of property management!), creative insults are much less pleasant. I used to rather enjoy them, but it was before I heard them actually used in a serious context against me.
1560.35 days ago
Nov 21, 2016 - 5:04 AM
I don't really have a favorite insult that I can actually say here but one of my favorite vulgar expressions is Jesus Christ Monkey Balls!
Edit: I like assmaster and assblaster
1559.651 days ago
Nov 21, 2016 - 9:50 PM
Woah I thought touchy subjects was 100% debates and confrontation, but nope. This is my kinda thread.
My most commonly used ones would be fuckass and cockass.
1555.824 days ago
Nov 25, 2016 - 5:41 PM
1555.817 days ago
Nov 25, 2016 - 5:51 PM
Y'know, now that I've started working at a job where I'm cussed at regularly (the joys of property management!), creative insults are much less pleasant. I used to rather enjoy them, but it was before I heard them actually used in a serious context against me.
Ha I've just started in property management. I hope I don't get tired of creative insults.
I usually just stick with good old "cunt", but I also like nonsensical compound terms featuring either "fuck" or "cunt". "Fascist fuckwit" is a good one. Fucksticks. I'm sure I've said something like "motherslutcunt fuckity fuckwhore" at some point. I try not to use terms that I find offensive to an actual group of people like "retard" or "faggot", and I guess cunt is misogynistic but frankly more men in my life are cunts than women are, so whatever.
1555.805 days ago
Nov 25, 2016 - 6:08 PM
I find it really amusing when people use "fuck" as a noun. Any particularly harsh insults used in an endearing context usually make me smile.
1552.869 days ago
Nov 28, 2016 - 4:36 PM
{
"thread_id": "9598",
"posts": [
{
"id": "916332",
"time": "1479152369",
"html": "I want to hear some of your favorite *funny* vulgar insults, name calling, one liners, etc. I just saw one online that I absolutley LOVE. Goes like this:<br />You've got about three brain cells and two of them are busy holding your asshole shut! <br /><br />Some of my other favorites are:<br /><ul><li>fucktard</li><li>asswipe</li><li>cock sucker </li></ul><br />I hope this isn't too much for twocans..",
"user": "guessillseeyouinhell"
},
{
"id": "916346",
"time": "1479154872",
"html": "<a href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sg6SRlQervo\">One of the best, hands down</a>.",
"user": "waterphoenix"
},
{
"id": "916349",
"time": "1479155681",
"html": "Omg xD<br />"Great supine protoplasmic invertebrate jellies!"",
"user": "guessillseeyouinhell"
},
{
"id": "916353",
"time": "1479155917",
"html": "Hands down greatest insult I've ever heard.",
"user": "waterphoenix"
},
{
"id": "916360",
"time": "1479156926",
"html": "I'm already thinking of a situation in which I can use this.",
"user": "guessillseeyouinhell"
},
{
"id": "916444",
"time": "1479182326",
"html": "I'm a big fan of 'douchenozzle' and 'cuntwaffle' when it's not all too serious. 'Douchecanoe' works well too.",
"user": "coldfrost"
},
{
"id": "916447",
"time": "1479182811",
"html": "Asshat.",
"user": "hydrogen777"
},
{
"id": "916448",
"time": "1479182946",
"html": "Douchecanoe lmao",
"user": "guessillseeyouinhell"
},
{
"id": "916451",
"time": "1479183628",
"html": "I told my friend during a game to<br />"Suck my hot nards toaster boi"",
"user": "mackenziedevil13"
},
{
"id": "916452",
"time": "1479183936",
"html": "I really like calling people pagans, heathens, and philistines. And I'm talking about the actual philistines, not the modern definition of someone who hates arts.",
"user": "antimonypentafluoride"
},
{
"id": "916453",
"time": "1479184148",
"html": "<div style=\"margin:20px; background-image:url(/images/light.png);\"><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:5px;\"><a href=\"/users/mackenziedevil13/\">mackenzie=devil#13</a> said:</div><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:20px;\">I told my friend during a game to<br />"Suck my hot nards toaster boi"</div></div><br />Why is this so funny? XD",
"user": "guessillseeyouinhell"
},
{
"id": "916454",
"time": "1479184297",
"html": "I can't hear the word "nard" without thinking about <a href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spikenard\">the incense.</a>",
"user": "antimonypentafluoride"
},
{
"id": "916483",
"time": "1479188368",
"html": "I quite enjoy the term "bell-end."",
"user": "jest"
},
{
"id": "916484",
"time": "1479188525",
"html": "Can you use that in a sentence?",
"user": "guessillseeyouinhell"
},
{
"id": "916486",
"time": "1479188593",
"html": ""Well, that guy was a massive bell-end."<br />Basically, it's calling someone a dick.<br /><a href=\"http://www.corporateskull.com/comic/skull-19/\">In a comic</a>",
"user": "jest"
},
{
"id": "917143",
"time": "1479451651",
"html": "Well, I <span style=\"font-style:italic;\">do</span> have some choice words, but Dipshit is king.<br /><br />And of course, calling someone a "rusty trombone" just rolls off the tongue, doesnt it? It's a little old school, but it's so fun to say. :)",
"user": "thephysicist"
},
{
"id": "917147",
"time": "1479458618",
"html": "I don't actually swear much in real life, but I do have some swearwords/insults I am fond of. Dickweed being one.<br /><br />And after this morning, I have a new favourite: Pulele lalalelor. Which translates to "The dicks of the tulips."",
"user": "jaxxie"
},
{
"id": "917153",
"time": "1479472758",
"html": "I love it!!!!! How do you pronounce that??",
"user": "guessillseeyouinhell"
},
{
"id": "917154",
"time": "1479473705",
"html": "<div style=\"margin:20px; background-image:url(/images/light.png);\"><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:5px;\"><a href=\"/users/hydrogen777/\">Hydrogen777</a> said:</div><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:20px;\">Asshat.</div></div><br />It's just so elegant, isn't it?",
"user": "meowmix6"
},
{
"id": "917763",
"time": "1479704662",
"html": "Y'know, now that I've started working at a job where I'm cussed at regularly (the joys of property management!), creative insults are much less pleasant. I used to rather enjoy them, but it was before I heard them actually used in a serious context against me.",
"user": "zia"
},
{
"id": "917863",
"time": "1479765016",
"html": "I don't really have a favorite insult that I can actually say here but one of my favorite vulgar expressions is Jesus Christ Monkey Balls!<br /><br />Edit: I like assmaster and assblaster",
"user": "antimonypentafluoride"
},
{
"id": "918450",
"time": "1480095664",
"html": "Woah I thought touchy subjects was 100% debates and confrontation, but nope. This is my kinda thread.<br />My most commonly used ones would be fuckass and cockass.",
"user": "ecr674"
},
{
"id": "918453",
"time": "1480096294",
"html": "Cockass xD love it!!!!",
"user": "guessillseeyouinhell"
},
{
"id": "918454",
"time": "1480097330",
"html": "<div style=\"margin:20px; background-image:url(/images/light.png);\"><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:5px;\"><a href=\"/users/zia/\">Zia</a> said:</div><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:20px;\">Y'know, now that I've started working at a job where I'm cussed at regularly (the joys of property management!), creative insults are much less pleasant. I used to rather enjoy them, but it was before I heard them actually used in a serious context against me.</div></div><br /><br />Ha I've just started in property management. I hope I don't get tired of creative insults. <br /><br />I usually just stick with good old "cunt", but I also like nonsensical compound terms featuring either "fuck" or "cunt". "Fascist fuckwit" is a good one. Fucksticks. I'm sure I've said something like "motherslutcunt fuckity fuckwhore" at some point. I try not to use terms that I find offensive to an actual group of people like "retard" or "faggot", and I guess cunt is misogynistic but frankly more men in my life are cunts than women are, so whatever.",
"user": "k"
},
{
"id": "918724",
"time": "1480350961",
"html": "I find it really amusing when people use "fuck" as a noun. Any particularly harsh insults used in an endearing context usually make me smile.",
"user": "ferreteh"
}
],
"users": {
"guessillseeyouinhell": {
"name": "GuessI'llSeeYouInHell",
"key": "guessillseeyouinhell",
"url": "/users/guessillseeyouinhell",
"avatar": "/uploads/drawn/3624.png",
"rankClass": "civilian",
"rankText": "",
"posts": "2120"
},
"waterphoenix": {
"name": "Water Phoenix",
"key": "waterphoenix",
"url": "/users/waterphoenix",
"avatar": "/uploads/drawn/17290.png",
"rankClass": "civilian",
"rankText": "",
"posts": "8921"
},
"coldfrost": {
"name": "Coldfrost",
"key": "coldfrost",
"url": "/users/coldfrost",
"avatar": "/uploads/drawn/20861.png",
"rankClass": "civilian",
"rankText": "",
"posts": "7587"
},
"hydrogen777": {
"name": "Hydrogen777",
"key": "hydrogen777",
"url": "/users/hydrogen777",
"avatar": "/uploads/drawn/11933.png",
"rankClass": "admin",
"rankText": "Admin",
"posts": "7451"
},
"mackenziedevil13": {
"name": "mackenzie=devil#13",
"key": "mackenziedevil13",
"url": "/users/mackenziedevil13",
"avatar": "/uploads/drawn/2364.png",
"rankClass": "civilian",
"rankText": "",
"posts": "4368"
},
"antimonypentafluoride": {
"name": "antimony pentafluoride",
"key": "antimonypentafluoride",
"url": "/users/antimonypentafluoride",
"avatar": "/uploads/drawn/4436.png",
"rankClass": "civilian",
"rankText": "",
"posts": "2977"
},
"jest": {
"name": "Jest",
"key": "jest",
"url": "/users/jest",
"avatar": "/uploads/drawn/72.png",
"rankClass": "civilian",
"rankText": "",
"posts": "1916"
},
"thephysicist": {
"name": "The Physicist",
"key": "thephysicist",
"url": "/users/thephysicist",
"avatar": "/uploads/drawn/4923.png",
"rankClass": "civilian",
"rankText": "",
"posts": "710"
},
"jaxxie": {
"name": "jaxxie",
"key": "jaxxie",
"url": "/users/jaxxie",
"avatar": "/uploads/drawn/13511.png",
"rankClass": "admin",
"rankText": "Admin",
"posts": "8396"
},
"meowmix6": {
"name": "Meowmix6",
"key": "meowmix6",
"url": "/users/meowmix6",
"avatar": "/uploads/drawn/1504.png",
"rankClass": "civilian",
"rankText": "",
"posts": "9719"
},
"zia": {
"name": "Zia",
"key": "zia",
"url": "/users/zia",
"avatar": "/uploads/drawn/10397.png",
"rankClass": "civilian",
"rankText": "",
"posts": "2319"
},
"ecr674": {
"name": "ecr674",
"key": "ecr674",
"url": "/users/ecr674",
"avatar": "/uploads/drawn/16118.png",
"rankClass": "civilian",
"rankText": "",
"posts": "2494"
},
"k": {
"name": "K",
"key": "k",
"url": "/users/k",
"avatar": "/uploads/drawn/1314.png",
"rankClass": "civilian",
"rankText": "",
"posts": "5449"
},
"ferreteh": {
"name": "Ferreteh",
"key": "ferreteh",
"url": "/users/ferreteh",
"avatar": "/uploads/drawn/700.png",
"rankClass": "civilian",
"rankText": "",
"posts": "2085"
}
},
"page_num": 1,
"locked": 0,
"total_pages": 2
}