Two Cans & String

{ "thread_id": "9951", "posts": [ { "id": "968924", "time": "1515642999", "html": "surprised this isn't on here yet since Blake almost asked us to post this.<br /><br />\\/ \\/ \\/<br /><br />Will be greatfull and not offended if no one actually uses this thread or posts on it. Just putting it on here for the sake of this title being in the touchy subjects list.", "user": "purplelover" }, { "id": "968927", "time": "1515644654", "html": "Downward and outward at a 90 degree angle from the butthole.<br /><br /><ul><li>------------- \u2193 ------------------</li></ul><br />Everyone's butthole works that way, right?", "user": "antimonypentafluoride" }, { "id": "968929", "time": "1515646218", "html": "Are we talking about wiping or hanging...?", "user": "hydrogen777" }, { "id": "968931", "time": "1515646476", "html": "The open end of the roll should not be on the wall, it should be on the person side. And folding , not scrunching.", "user": "grayseff" }, { "id": "968932", "time": "1515647596", "html": "I will refrain from the wiping side of this discussion, but I agree with Gray that the roll should have the open end away from the wall.", "user": "terrabranford" }, { "id": "968933", "time": "1515648131", "html": "Most people seem to agree with that unless they have cats and/or young children that like to make it rain toilet paper.", "user": "hydrogen777" }, { "id": "968941", "time": "1515674868", "html": "My daughter never enjoyed doing that. She got upset the couple of times she accidentally pulled too much. Like, she was screaming about it, as though it somehow might bring an end to the world.", "user": "terrabranford" }, { "id": "968955", "time": "1515680099", "html": "<div style=\"margin:20px; background-image:url(/images/light.png);\"><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:5px;\"><a href=\"/users/hydrogen777\">Hydrogen777</a> said:</div><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:20px;\">Are we talking about wiping or hanging...?</div></div>I'm not sure.<br />Edit: wait a sec <div style=\"margin:20px; background-image:url(/images/light.png);\"><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:5px;\"><a href=\"/users/terrabranford\">TerraBranford</a> said:</div><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:20px;\">I will refrain from the wiping side of this discussion, but I agree with Gray that the roll should have the open end away from the wall.</div></div><br />do you guys mean you don't wipe your butts?", "user": "antimonypentafluoride" }, { "id": "969382", "time": "1516067628", "html": "<div style=\"margin:20px; background-image:url(/images/light.png);\"><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:5px;\"><a href=\"/users/grayseff\">Grayseff</a> said:</div><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:20px;\">The open end of the roll should not be on the wall, it should be on the person side. And folding , not scrunching.</div></div><br />Folding is heresy, scrunching maximizes the separation between hands and shit.<br /><br />The open end of the roll should always be facing the toilet; imho the ideal is perpendicular to the wall though.", "user": "malcolmreynolds" }, { "id": "969384", "time": "1516067778", "html": "Scrunching is barbaric. It wastes more paper, is no guarantee of adequate thickness at the point of contact and looks horrible.", "user": "grayseff" }, { "id": "969385", "time": "1516068406", "html": "Oh man I didn't know we were judging the aesthetics of ass-wiping. I'm changing my answer, the best method is rolling a cone and jamming it up ones ass.", "user": "malcolmreynolds" }, { "id": "969387", "time": "1516070135", "html": "Fold is the only correct option. Maximum efficiency and is just easier to read, ya know? Like how much we're dealing with and if any has strayed off course. It tells a story. <br /><br />Now do you wipe up or wipe down?", "user": "ombra" }, { "id": "969388", "time": "1516070574", "html": "Always wipe away from the fun zone.<br />Also: Standing or sitting?", "user": "malcolmreynolds" }, { "id": "969389", "time": "1516072710", "html": "Yea, how does a scruncher know where needs attention? And obviously sitting and away from the boys.", "user": "grayseff" }, { "id": "969390", "time": "1516072853", "html": "Okay, with some toilet paper, like in public bathrooms, you're gonna end up with like a 6 layer fold. Also, yeah, wipe away from the junk. No one wants poop sack. Also, have y'all ever tried sitting backward on the toilet? I can't say I'd do it again but maybe they're on to something.", "user": "antimonypentafluoride" }, { "id": "969391", "time": "1516073660", "html": "So American toilets have a very shallow but wide pool of water, if you did that here (known as the reversal) you would leave an uncleanable smear.", "user": "grayseff" }, { "id": "969392", "time": "1516073697", "html": "Position: end away from the wall, toward the person. (Note: this is the correct way, as seen on the original patent for the toilet paper roll holder. I can source if anyone wants.)<br />Fold, not scrunch. Easier to see the remains and scrunching wastes paper.<br />Wipe backwards, away from the junk.<br />Sitting, leaning forward a little if you have to.", "user": "thatpersonyouknow" }, { "id": "969393", "time": "1516074257", "html": "^bro yeah, I\u2019m curious enough to wanna to see a source. <div style=\"margin:20px; background-image:url(/images/light.png);\"><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:5px;\"><a href=\"/users/grayseff\">Grayseff</a> said:</div><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:20px;\">So American toilets have a very shallow but wide pool of water, if you did that here (known as the reversal) you would leave an uncleanable smear.</div></div>Awwuggh nasty, man. Lol What do the toilets look like?", "user": "antimonypentafluoride" }, { "id": "969394", "time": "1516074914", "html": "<a href=\"https://www.google.com/patents/US459516\">Here's the full patent.</a><br /><br />Noted image:<br /><img src=\"http://patentimages.storage.googleapis.com/pages/US459516-0.png\" alt=\"\" />", "user": "thatpersonyouknow" }, { "id": "969398", "time": "1516075902", "html": "<div style=\"margin:20px; background-image:url(/images/light.png);\"><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:5px;\"><a href=\"/users/malcolmreynolds\">Malcolm Reynolds</a> said:</div><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:20px;\">Always wipe away from the fun zone.<br />Also: Standing or sitting?</div></div><br />Sit for the show, stand for the finale (like that one last wipe to really make sure u good)", "user": "ombra" }, { "id": "969399", "time": "1516076240", "html": "<a href=\"https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e1/Toilet_370x580.jpg\">American toilets</a> are really low down, have a wide pool of water and occasionally the boys wound up with an accidental bath because of how freakin low and shallow the toilets were.<br /><a href=\"http://i.ebayimg.com/images/i/122551688351-0-1/s-l1000.jpg\">This is</a> pretty close to what I'm used to sans the decal.", "user": "grayseff" }, { "id": "969400", "time": "1516077042", "html": "Aw man there\u2019s no way you sit backward on that. That sounds like something would be done to be a dick to someone if done at all. <br /><br />Also what\u2019s this standing up business? Standing up to wipe or standing up to poop? I never tried standing to poop with a toilet but I can say it\u2019s pretty easy to do in the woods.", "user": "antimonypentafluoride" }, { "id": "969401", "time": "1516080208", "html": "I love topics like this because people rarely discuss it, to the point that some people are unaware there is even a second possibility.<br />I was always a stand-to-wipe person, but then someone blew my mind in college by asking whether people stand or sit to wipe. It literally never occurred to me before then. After that I converted to sitting, but the next time I went home I realized why I used to stand: my home toilet was like absurdly tiny and poorly placed so it was impossible to sit and wipe.<br /><br />Also the correct solution to all of this is actually squatting toilets and bidets.", "user": "malcolmreynolds" }, { "id": "969402", "time": "1516094441", "html": "<div style=\"margin:20px; background-image:url(/images/light.png);\"><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:5px;\"><a href=\"/users/purplelover\">Purplelover</a> said:</div><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:20px;\">surprised this isn't on here yet since Blake almost asked us to post this.</div></div><br />What?", "user": "blake" }, { "id": "969432", "time": "1516113876", "html": "Took me a minute to figure out, but:<br /><div style=\"margin:20px; background-image:url(/images/light.png);\"><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:5px;\">From Forum Description:</div><div style=\"border:1px solid #888; padding:20px;\">Touchy Subjects<br />Religion, politics, <span style=\"text-decoration:underline;\">toilet paper direction</span>. Enter at your own risk.</div></div>", "user": "malcolmreynolds" } ], "users": { "purplelover": { "name": "Purplelover", "key": "purplelover", "url": "/users/purplelover", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/20588.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "617" }, "antimonypentafluoride": { "name": "antimony pentafluoride", "key": "antimonypentafluoride", "url": "/users/antimonypentafluoride", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/4436.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "2977" }, "hydrogen777": { "name": "Hydrogen777", "key": "hydrogen777", "url": "/users/hydrogen777", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/11933.png", "rankClass": "admin", "rankText": "Admin", "posts": "7451" }, "grayseff": { "name": "Grayseff", "key": "grayseff", "url": "/users/grayseff", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/4762.png", "rankClass": "admin", "rankText": "Admin", "posts": "-999995503" }, "terrabranford": { "name": "TerraBranford", "key": "terrabranford", "url": "/users/terrabranford", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/510.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "1953" }, "malcolmreynolds": { "name": "Malcolm Reynolds", "key": "malcolmreynolds", "url": "/users/malcolmreynolds", "avatar": "/images/white.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "508" }, "ombra": { "name": "Ombra", "key": "ombra", "url": "/users/ombra", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/15365.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "1796" }, "thatpersonyouknow": { "name": "That person you know", "key": "thatpersonyouknow", "url": "/users/thatpersonyouknow", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/324.png", "rankClass": "civilian", "rankText": "", "posts": "1189" }, "blake": { "name": "Blake", "key": "blake", "url": "/users/blake", "avatar": "/uploads/drawn/16560.png", "rankClass": "webmaster", "rankText": "Webmaster", "posts": "2883" } }, "page_num": 1, "locked": 0, "total_pages": 3 }

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