Whoa!

Apparently in between the time that I left and came back cheap knockoffs of ancient consoles got really popular, and the LAZICOM was the cheapest, knockoff-iest, most ancient console on the market. Whether or not this was fair to the consumer doesn't matter - what matters is that now, LAZCO is filthy rich, and I happen to have come back to the helm at just the right time to ruin everything and run it back into the ground.

As such...

INTRODUCING THE SUPER LAZICOM!

Now featuring a stunning 16 bits! That's twice the number of bits that the LAZICOM had! What does that mean for you? We're not sure! We didn't build them.

Once again, LAZCO Enterprises proves that LAZCO has what NintenDON'T! Let's compare features with their current leading console:

Color:
Switch: Boring Black
SUPER LAZICOM: Groovy Grey

Number of released games:
Switch: 10+
SUPER LAZICOM: 1757 and rising

Maximum number of physically connected controllers:
Switch: 2
SUPER LAZICOM: Theoretically infinite

The advantages are clear!

Buy the SUPER LAZICOM today, for only $550! Eat it up, fools! EAT IT!

(Disclaimer: LAZCO Enterprises is not responsible for injury caused by the consumption of the Super Lazicom. That's on you.)